


High School - A Destiel Story

by SunnyIsAwesommmmmeee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bottom Dean, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Plot Twists, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-07 02:31:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1114444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunnyIsAwesommmmmeee/pseuds/SunnyIsAwesommmmmeee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Destiel High School AU where Dean just moved to Castiel's neighborhood after moving in with Bobby Singer and Ellen Harvelle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean's POV

"Shit," I mutter, Jason's brown eyes shining at the panic in my voice. "Under the bed." He scrambles off of my bed, falling to the floor with a thump and I see him slide under the bed as I pull my pants back on. I hear footsteps pound up the stairs irregularly. John is drunk, as usual. I get my pants on as my dad opens the door and stumbles in, face red and eyes bloodshot. He smells like vodka and the cheap perfume of whatever cheap hooker he'd managed to afford tonight with what was probably the nearing last of Sam's college fund.

"Dad! Jesus Christ, what are you doing home?" I ask, praying he's too drunk to notice that I keep accidentally glancing at the bed where I know Jason is hiding. John squints at me, like he's trying to get my face to focus but can't quite and stumbles toward me. I grab him by the shoulders to keep him from falling. He jerks back resulting in him falling flat on his ass, face lighting up with anger as he climbs back up to his feet, wavering.

I spot Sam poking his head out of his door and looking down the hallway at us, and I shoot him a warning look. He disappears back into his room, knowing better than not to listen to me when Dad was pissed off. I don't want him getting hurt if John decides to be violent, which was likely. He doesn't touch Sam usually, but I still never want to risk it. Drunk John is unpredictable.

"Where's th' li'l slut?" he asks, his words all slurring together, the s in slut drawing out a few extra beats. "I heard ya' moaning 'n' shit when I walked in. I know th' bitch 's in here somewhere. Don't fuckin' lie to me, ya piece of shit!" My heart pounds as he looks around the room, eyes roaming due to his lack of attention. They looked unfocused still, his eyes glossy and almost lifeless. I can't remember seeing them clear, not since my mom died. I try to get his attention back by blocking his view of the room, but that only seems anger him more, his eyes snapping to me.

I hear my jaw crack as his fist collides with my face and I'm sent to the floor. My vision blinks in and out, and I'm kind of surprised by the force of his punch. After all, he is drunk. He shouldn't be able to knock me to the floor. I try to stand, but the black dots threaten to overtake my vision completely, so I settle down. I grow even more alarmed as I see Sam hurry from his room into mine, putting himself between John and me and shoving a finger into John's chest.

"Leave him alone, Dad! He didn't do anything! You can't just barge in here all drunk and start hitting Dean!" Sam cries, getting up in his face. John's face distorts with rage, and he raises his hand to hit Sam, something I can't stop because I'm still too fucking dizzy to get up. That doesn't stop me from trying, though, and I can't even make it to my knees. John's hand moves closer to Sam as Jason rolls out from under the bed in just his fucking Superman boxers.

He tackles John, and they both tumble down, the drunk man making an oomf as he hits the ground. Jason pins him there, his fist slamming into John's face. Jason isn't very strong, more on the scrawny side and John's line of work requires him to be fit. So when John slams his head into Jason's with a disgusting crunch, I'm not very surprised that Jason gets knocked off of him, grabbing his face as he rolls to the ground. Sam runs over to me, dropping to his knees and trying to make sure I'm okay but I shake him off and run, albeit stumbling, over to John and Jason, desperate to get John off of him.

My dad swings at me again and I fall, blackness flashing across my vision a few times as I lie on the ground. Sam runs over to me again and pulls away from the fight, tears in his scared eyes. My vision is blurry, and I'm pretty sure that if I try to stand up, I'll fall over. I try anyway, and Sam stops me from slamming my head on the floor when I do end up falling.

Two piercing screams fill the air, and I force myself to focus back on the fight. John is covered in blood and stumbling away from Jason, snarl on his face. I pull myself over to Jason and gasp out of horror, the sight making me feel sick. Jason smiles at me, a sad smile that falls as he starts to cough, blood coming with the wet choking noise. I look at his stomach and know a knife wound when I see one. I yell at Sam to call 911, my breath getting stuck in my throat as I try not to scream. I pull my shirt off and press it to Jason's chest, applying pressure to his wound with shaking hands.

"Maybe I should have stayed under the bed," Jason whispers and tries to chuckle but ends up coughing up more blood. I can't quite get enough oxygen into my lungs as I stare down at him, knowing that he was too hurt and I wasn't helping enough. A half sob shakes my body.

"You're going to be okay. Don't worry, an ambulance will be here soon," I say, knowing I sound a bit hysterical. I can barely breathe, and I am not nearly as confident as I try to seem. One of his hands slowly moves to my face, and he smiles again, sad and bloody. His thumb brushes across my cheek, and I close my eyes as it catches one of the tears falling down my face. He pulls my head down so my ear is right next to his mouth and I can feel his faint breath creeping across my cheek, getting weaker and weaker.

"I love you, Dean," he whispers, and a tear runs down my face again, catching on his thumb. His hand slowly drops, and I look at him desperately, my mouth open as I try to form those three words, no sound coming out because even as Jason slowly died in front of me, I couldn't say it. I couldn't say I love you back to him, even if part of my thought I probably did. I hadn't said it to anyone since I was five and John told me I was too old to call him Daddy and didn't say he loved me back.

"Faggots," John slurs from somewhere, but I ignore him, panic making it hard to breathe still. That homophobic bastard just stabbed my fucking boyfriend. Jason's eyes start to get a glassy, non-seeing look too much like John's and terror consumes me, making tears start to fall from my eyes.

There's a knock on the door which I can't bring myself to pay attention to, too busy trying to stop Jason from bleeding any more than he already is, saying his name over and over, the words blurring together, hands shaking as I shake him, trying to get him to wake up.

I hear footsteps pounding up the stairs and everything starts blurring together as I start to cry harder. I feel myself being pulled away from Jason and I'm aware of the screaming leaving my throat but it's a detached awareness, like everything is happening to someone else. Sam is next to me, tugging on my arm, tears in his eyes too. He's trying to get me to look at him, screaming at me to look at him, but all I can do is stare at the stretcher being carried down the stairs with Jason's body on it, not hearing the screams coming out of my mouth.

I see my father in handcuffs being forced down the stairs and I fall onto my knees. Sam's there, trying to comfort me but I ignore him. I can't bring myself to respond to him. My vision is starting to blur and I black out before I hit the ground.

\---

Castiel's POV

I make my way downstairs, my sister's voice floating faintly up the stairs. I had rolled out of bed this morning and pulled on the clothes I had laid out last night, sighing as I flatten the clothes with my hands. My older sister, Anna, insisted that I had to dress up on picture day since 'we have to look respectable.' I had decided on a white dress shirt, some black dress pants, and a blue tie. I feel like a sixth grader in his first dance outfit since everything was a few sizes too big. I still didn't understand why I had to wear my brother's hand-me-down's since we had plenty of money.

I make it to the kitchen before getting stopped by Anna.

"Slow down. Your hair's a mess," she says and I would roll my eyes at her if she didn't consider it disrespectful. She runs her hands through it a bit before I pull away, ducking out of her reach.

I grab my trench coat on my way out the door, skipping breakfast because I don't want to be late again. I run the mile and a half to school, coat flapping behind me. I try and keep breathing as even as it can be but by the time I reach the front doors, I know I look like a mess. I'm out of breath and my clothes are everywhere, not to mention that my face was flushed and my hair was everywhere.

I feel the eyes of a boy who seems to be around my age staring at me as I check the clock, hurrying into the office. Eleven minutes late. I make it to the desk and Mrs. Webber, the secretary, smiles at me. The old woman looks me up and down and her smile fades.

"Oh, Castiel, what did you do?" she asks with a sigh and I give her a small smile, running a hand through my hair and messing it up even further.

"I ran to school. If I'm late again, I'll get a detention but it looks like I'm going to get one anyway," I say. The older lady smiles at me again, a warm look that makes her wrinkled face even more scrunched up.

"Oh Cassie," she says and I flinch internally at the nickname. "I like you. You're a good kid and you don't deserve a detention. How about you show the new kid around and get a free pass just this once?" she asks, and I nod vigorously. I really hate detention especially when it's with Naomi, the principal. She plays these weird videos of creepy kids 'doing the right thing and making good choices' that just end up looking and feeling like she is attempting mind control.

"I'll write you both passes dismissing you both from your morning classes so Castiel can help you get a feel for the building. Castiel this is Dean, Dean this is Castiel," she says as the boy who was watching me before steps forward. He glances at me with an uninterested look and my smile slowly fades. Great, now I have to spend a few hours with some disrespectful jock who doesn't give a damn about anything. I grab my pass from Mrs. Webber and start walking down the hallway, not checking to make sure that he was behind me.

"Hey, slow down," he calls, rushing to catch up with me. I ignore him again and turn down the hallway that leads to my first-period class. I have dealt with too many people who have dismissed me for my messy appearance to give a shit about him.

"Where are we going?" he asks and I finally reply to him, my voice flat and just as uninterested as he seemed. I turn to face him, my eyes level with his surprisingly green eyes.

"To the English room, I have to show my pass to Mr. Kelly. Wait here," I say as we reach the door. When I walk in I feel every pair of eyes in the room turn to me, the stares making my cheeks flush just a bit. I hate being the center of attention.

I ignore them and walk to the desk which Mr. Kelly is asleep at. I clear my throat quietly and he jerks awake in his chair, nearly falling over. He blinks a few times before looking at me. "Yes?' he asks, drawing the 'e' out for a few extra beats. I hand him my pass, watching his eyes roam over it before jumping at the feeling of someone reaching around me. I feel someone's body brush up against mine andI tense up, moving away from the touch. I look and see Dean glancing around the classroom, biting his bottom lip.

"This is my first class too. Thought I'd give him my pass as well," he says nonchalantly as he searches the classroom. He looks back down at me, a small smile on his lips. My heart pumps faster, my tongue darting across my lower lip unconsciously. I look away suddenly as Mr. Kelly clears his throat and hands us back our passes.

"Fine. You better have your essay in by tomorrow, though, Novak," the old balding man barks. I nod and scurry out of the room, Dean trailing behind me. Mr. Kelly is an asshole. We reach the hall and I shove my pass in the pocket of my dirty coat, turning to Dean, who is leaning against the wall and my breath catches in my throat again. His eyes are half lidded and his arms are behind his head, making his muscles bulge against his thin T-shirt. I swallow hard and make myself breathe normally. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm not gay. But I keep finding myself checking out this obvious douchebag.

"So, where to next?" I manage to say after a minute of staring at him. He looks at me with a small, cocky smile playing at his lips that makes my heart thump a few times out of beat.

"You're supposed to be the guide, aren't you?" he teases and a slight blush creeps onto my face and I curse my fair skin. "Well, take me to your favorite part of the school." I nod and mentally debate whether or not I should bring this guy to my actual favorite spot. I mean, I don't really know the guy but part of me wants him to see it and think it's cool. The second part of me wins.

I lead him to the library, nodding to Anna as I pass the hallway she is studying in, She smiles at him and waves and I don't miss the way her eyes pull over Dean's body. She smirks and winks at me and I am very glad once we're out of eyeshot of her.

I suck in a nervous breath as I lead him to the children's section. Why the high school has a children's book collection I have no idea but it was rarely used, so it was perfect. He follows me, still looking around. I take the shelf in the farthest corner and pull it out just enough that we can slide behind it, into the small room that lies back there, pulling it closed behind him.

He looks around and I watch him nervously. I keep my face blank, praying he doesn't think this room is too lame. I slowly sink into one of the purple bean bag chairs I snuck into here and watch him as he wanders around, looking at the walls of books and small trinkets I keep on them. He soon makes it all the way around the small room and smiles approvingly. I feel relief surge through me and a smile plays at my lips, not quite pulling them into a full smile but close. He grabs the other bean bag, the blue one, and pulls it closer to mine, sitting down on it.

"This place is fucking rad. Who else knows about it?" he asks, still looking around curiously. I look at the ground, though I'm not sure why I am so embarrassed for him to know. Maybe it's because I met him today and he's still the first person I have brought to this place.

"Uh, just you. My other friends aren't the 'secret room in the library' type," I say and he turns back to me. If possible, his smile grows even more and a weird butterfly sensation starts in my stomach. I will it to stop, not meeting his eyes. "Not that you're the 'secret room in the library' type. I mean, maybe you are, but I don't..." I cut myself off, sighing.

He chuckles and says, "Cas, tell me about yourself." I stiffen at the nickname. I always have hated any shortening of my name, but coming from him, it didn't seem to sound mocking or annoying. I stop that train of thought again and think of how to respond.

"I'm Castiel Novak, I'm a junior. I'm 17, I live with my sister Anna and brothers Gabriel and Balthazar, and I hate the nickname Cassie. I like to be alone most of the time, I enjoy nature, and I love my trench coat," I say. He nods, a smile playing at his lips and I have to physically stop myself from staring at them. "Your turn."

"Wow, that sentence was packed with information. Lemme see if I can do the same. Uh, I'm Dean Winchester, I'm also a junior, I'm 17. And, uh, I have a little brother named Sam who is 13, I live with my godfather Bobby, his wife Ellen and her daughter Jo, and I love my '67 Impala," he says and I nod. I glance at the small digital clock I have sitting in the corner and sigh, 9:37 glaring at me in neon, blinking red. We need to go and show our pass to our next period teachers. I stand up and Dean does too.

Leading him back out to the hallway, I find it hard to speak when he's looking at me. My breath seems to be frozen in my throat and I have to actually think about it to keep breathing. What the hell is happening?

"Where to now, Cassie?" Dean asks and I shoot him an annoyed glare.

"To show our passes to our next teacher. What class do you have next?" I ask as I walk toward Math. He pulls out his phone and checks it before replying.

"Uh, Math?" he says and my heart sputters. I can't tell if it's in a good way or a bad way. Two classes together? That's more than I have with any of my friends. The schedules are typically randomized with two teachers for each class.

"Let me see your schedule," I say and he hands me over his phone. I look at the picture he took of it and my jaw nearly drops. We have every class together in both semesters. It's like they just photocopied mine. Actually, at the top, my name is crossed out and Dean Winchester written in under it.

"They literally photocopied my schedule and gave it to you. It has my name on it," I say handing him back his phone. He looks and laughs when he realizes I'm right.

"That's cool. We get to spend all day together," he jokes, throwing an arm over my shoulder. I tense up a little and chuckle awkwardly, not used to physical contact. Especially from attractive strangers. No, not attractive. He's a guy. I like girls. He studies me for a moment before pulling away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to invade your personal space or anything," he says and I blush again. Thankfully we reach the math room before I have to reply. We walk toward Mrs. Harvelle's desk and she smiles at Dean and me.

"Dean! How's your first day of school going?" she asks and he smiles at her as we hand her our passes. I give a small smile to Charlie Bradbury when she waves at me.

"It's cool. How's your day been, Ellen?" he says. Ellen as in the woman he's living with. Oh. She reads our notes and hands them back to us.

"Good. This is a critical lesson, boys. It's going to start the next unit. If you miss it you're going to have to make it up," she says and Dean nods.

"Cas could just come over later to study," he says and I stare at him. Did he just invite me to hang out with him later? "Er, I mean if you want to," he says, running a hand through his hair. Is that a slight blush I see creeping across his face? Nah, it's just my imagination.

"Uh, yeah, that works for me if it's okay with you, Mrs. Harvelle," I say and she shoots Dean a knowing smile as she nods at me

"Yeah as long as your parents are okay with it. Now stop interrupting my teaching boys," she says and I nod.

"Thanks, Ellen. We'll let you teach your class now," Dean says and we leave.

"Where to now?" he asks. I'm cut off by an announcement coming on the loudspeaker.

"Attention all Junior students, will all students whose first names start with C through E please report to the gym so your photo can be taken," it says and I sigh. I start leading Dean to the gym. We squeeze onto one of the bleachers and I force myself to ignore his leg pressed up against mine. He looks me up and down and laughs.

"Are you really going to take your picture like that?" he asks and I blush, looking down at my clothes. I pull my coat around myself self-consciously and he frowns slightly. He swats my hands away and opens my coat again, making a blush spread across my face. He doesn't seem to notice because his hands are now next to my neck, untying my tie. It's getting hard for me to breath again and I have to close my eyes.

His hands flip, turn, and pull the blue fabric in a practiced motion, fixing my tie so that it is straight.

After he's finished with that, he buttons the few top buttons I missed this morning. I can't help but stare at his concentrated face as he finishes the top button. He moves his attention to my hair. He sighs again and messes with it, flattening and pulling until it meets his standards. Him tugging gently on my hair like that should not feel as good as it does. He straightens out my coat a little and his eyes slowly drift up to mine. I suck in a deep breath as I stare into his striking green eyes.

"Cas," he says, his hot breath fanning across my face. At that moment, it's as if the entire gym has disappeared and it's just him and me. I jump when I hear my name called through some speakers that they had set up. I thank Dean and make my way to get my picture taken, nervous that it'll look weird due to the slight blush still staining my cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean's POV

After we got out pictures taken, Cas and I head to our next period class to show them our passes. We head back to the room hidden in the library, and after a few moments of just hanging out and lounging in the beanbag chairs, a serious feeling suddenly comes over me.

"You know you don't have to come over later, I mean the only reason that you're showing me around is because you have to," I say, looking at the ground. After a moment of silence, I look up at him, only to see his eyes closed and his head lolled back. I smile to myself, not being able to stop myself from thinking how cute he is when he's asleep. I decide not to wake him up until we need to go to lunch, and I sit there in silence for a few minutes until my phone buzzes.

[Jo: Hey how's your day so far?] the screen reads. Jo's my godmother's daughter and me and her have become pretty close friends in the past few weeks.

[Me: Okay. I haven't had to go to any classes, the secretary excused me so that this Castiel kid could show me around] I say. There's a moment of silence where I find myself glancing back at Cas. He looks so peaceful as he sleeps. There's a small smile on his lips, and his hair is perfectly messy. My phone vibrates again, and I look down at it.

[Jo: Castiel Novak? The loser?] she says, and I feel myself getting irrationally angry. I mean, I barely know him and Jo saying that makes me want to yell. I swallow my anger before I type a reply.

[Me: He's not a loser. He's cool and he's coming over tonight to study] I quickly type, trying not to lose my temper. I glance at what time it is and groan. It's lunch time. I look back at Cas and suck in a hard breath. He's breathing heavily and his lips are parted ever so slightly. His face is flushed and he looks so damn hot. I promised myself after Jason that I wouldn't get into a relationship with a guy here. I didn't want to have to face homophobia daily here too. But Castiel... he's really hot. And I really really want to break my promise. But I can't, so I close my eyes and man the fuck up. I make my way over to him and shake him softly. His head lolls to the side and I shake him a bit harder.

"Dean," he quietly mumbles and I suck in another sharp breath. His voice is breathy and hot and I need to keep my damn promise. I shake him again, this time a bit harder. His eyes flutter open and I realize that my face is only inches away from his. I smile, standing up and extending a hand to him. He looks at it for a second before taking it and pulling himself up. His face is still red and he seems to be embarrassed, probably because he fell asleep.

"Lunch time," I say and he nods. We head out of the room and to the cafeteria where we stand in the semi-long line. Once we both have our trays, a feeling of awkwardness overwhelms me. He makes a beeline for a table with a few people sitting at it, leaving me standing alone, not sure where to sit. Cas turns back to me and our eyes lock but the connection is lost as a blonde mess of hair blocks my view.

"Dean!" she cries, throwing her arms around me and hugging me. I awkwardly pat her back, waiting for the hug to be over. "Come sit with me," she says, pulling me to a different table. I look back at Cas but he is already talking with his friends, having forgotten all about me.

Lunch passes in a blur, me not really focusing on anything. I keep glancing at Cas' table, hoping he'll be looking back at me. I sit with Jo, some guy named Ash who has a mullet, some chick named Meg, and a few other people who I completely ignored.

After lunch, I check my schedule and head to the gym. I look around for Cas but can't find him anywhere. Swallowing disappointment I look around for someone I know who can tell me where I go.

"Hello Dean," a familiar voice says from behind me. I jump and spin around, a little freaked out that he can sneak up on me like that.

"Jesus, Cas! Don't sneak up on me like that!" I cry and he smiles a little. He motions for me to follow him and we head to the locker room.

He goes to a locker and pulls off his coat, laying it on the bench behind him. He struggles with his tie but manages to get it loose enough to slip over his head. His fingers glide down his chest as he unbuttons his shirt with a practiced grace. I find myself thinking of those teasing fingers sliding down my chest like that, while my hands are in his hair and-

"Dean? Are you okay?" he asks and I flush slightly. His shirt is fully off now and I have to physically force myself to pull my gaze off of his chest and meet his eyes.

"Yeah sorry. What's up?" I ask, not having heard the question. My eyes keep flickering down to his chest and thankfully he doesn't seem to notice.

"Why aren't you changing?" he asks.

"I don't have any clothes. I didn't know what I needed," I say. Cas nods and pulls his pants off. My breath hitches and I try not to stare at him. He grabs some shorts from the locker and pulls them on, followed by a new shirt. His hair got even messier as he was getting dressed and I just want to run my hands through it. Shit.

"Ready?" he asks, and I nod. We head out to the gym and Cas heads toward the teacher. I follow him, trying not to look at his ass. I made a promise, I can't do this again.

"Mrs. Jones? This is Dean, he's new," he says, and I look at the woman. She's dressed straight up like a hippie with a headband, flowing long skirt, and tie-dyed shirt. She smiles at me and shakes my hand.

"Hello, Dean. Boys, please call me River. Now go join the rest of the group in the circle," she says. We head over and sit down with everyone else in a circle. After a few minutes, River joins us.

"Hello, children. Today we will be doing some partner stretching. Please turn to the person next to you," she says, and Cas spins around to face me. "Sit with your legs out, feet pressed against each other. Now take your partners hands in yours and one of you will lean back and the other forward as far as you can to stretch your arms and legs." Cas flushes and slowly leans back. Leaning over like this makes it so that my face is right over his crotch and I feel myself getting excited. I push the feeling down and pretend that this isn't happening. I feel Cas sitting back up and follow his lead.

"Okay now the other leans back," River says, and I slowly lie back as far as I can. I force myself to ignore how close his face is to my dick and quietly hum some Metallica to calm myself down. River walks over to us and tsks.

"Come on, Castiel, I've seen you stretch farther than that," she says and pushes on his back, causing me to jump a little. His face is pressed onto me now and I feel myself blushing. My humming gets a little louder and faster as I try even harder to stay calm. After what feels like forever, we are finally released from this torture and get to sit up.

"Okay, now we are going to run some laps. Three laps, no cutting corners!" River calls. Cas and I run with each other and when we finish I just want to push him up against a wall and ravage him. He has a few drops of sweat on his face and he is breathing deeply, like a practiced runner. Part way through our second lap he pulled off his shirt and I can't pull my eyes away from him. I just pray that I'll be able to make it through our next classes without doing something we would both regret.


	3. Chapter 3

(Cas' POV)  
  
After gym me and Dean head to the locker room. We both are sweaty and decide to take quick showers. I pull of my shirt and pants leaving me in only my briefs and look over to see that Dean did too. I swallow a gasp as I take him in, looking away as he glances at me. I head into the shower, tossing my briefs out onto the pile of my clothes.   
  
After I finish quickly cleaning myself off and trying not to think about Dean, I reach for my towel only to realize that I didn't bring one.   
  
I cuss under my breath and realize that if I forgot a towel Dean probably doesn't have one either. I mentality hit myself because of the thoughts that fill my head after picturing how this could turn out.   
  
"You don't happen to have a towel I could use, do you?" Dean asks from the shower next to me. I chuckle nervously before replying.   
  
"I kind of forgot to bring one today," I say. "Sometimes there's a few in the back room," I say before stepping out of the shower. I figured Dean would still be in his but I was wrong. He's standing next to me and I find myself staring at the water droplets dropping down his chest. Without consulting me, my eyes start trailing down past his glorious abs and when I realize it I immediately start freaking out.   
  
/I was not checking him out. No, I was just... seeing if he found a towel. Yeah, I'm not gay,/ I think. I look back at Dean's face and see his eyes glued to my stomach. No, it's just my imagination. He's not checking me out.   
  
  
I laugh nervously again and head to the back room to check for towels. Finding some, I throw one to Dean. He catches it and I turn away to dry myself. I throw my clothes on and meet Dean by the door.   
  
"What class do we have now?" Dean asks and I glance at the clock. Three minutes to get to class. I hurry to my locker as I answer.   
  
"American history," I say as I grab my textbook and practically run to the room. We get in just in time and Dean snags a seat next to me and Mr. Smith starts lecturing us. This is going to be a long class.   
  
~~~  
  
The last few classes pass uneventfully and before I know it, it's time to head to Dean's to study. He excitedly pulls me to the parking lot and stops in front of a black car that looks like it's from the sixties.   
  
"1967 Chevy Impala. It was my dads," he says, his voice full of pride. I nod, hoping I look interested enough not to offend him. He smiles and relief washes through me.   
  
We get in and I pull out my phone to check in with Anna.   
  
[Hey, studying at friends house. Be home soon] I say. I don't have to wait very long for a reply.   
  
[Kay:D Have fun 'studying' ;) ] she replies and I roll my eyes. Same old Anna.   
  
"We're here," Dean says, already out of the car and holding my door open for me.   
  
We head into a diner and bar type place called The Roadhouse and he pulls me to the bar where we sit down and wait for Mrs. Harvelle to bring us our work. A girl from school heads over to us from the back room, lifting herself to sit on the counter next to Dean and I recognize her as Jo, Mrs. Harvelle's daughter. She glares at me before turning to Dean and making googly eyes at him.   
  
"Mom's got to stay after school for detention 'till four. One of the trouble making loser named Gabriel got in trouble and dragged Sam down with him," she says, aware that Gabriel is my brother and she shoots me another glare as she talks about him. "She asked me to give you your work and get you some pie. Pecan, right?" she asks, looking back at Dean. She sets a pile of papers down in front of him and he glances at me, asking if I like pie. I shrug and grab one of the papers as he nods to Jo and she disappears again.   
  
He grabs a sheet and leans off of the bar stool to dig in his backpack. My eyes do /not/ stay glued to the strip of skin that is exposed on his back when he leans over or trail over his strong shoulders which the muscle is clearly defined on, even when he's slouching.   
  
I force my eyes down to the paper before he catches me staring. This should be easy, I've learned how to do this type of math in the church tutoring sessions I was forced to attend. After digging a pencil from the bottom of my bag, we sit in silence until I'm finished with the paper. Dean looks over and sees mine completed and lets out a groan.   
  
"Fuck, I don't know any of this," he whines and I suppress a laugh. I glance down at his sheet and realize that he's right, he doesn't know /any/ of it. He is on the second problem with the first one wrong and he is using the wrong formula for this one.   
  
Before I can help him, Jo comes out of the back room with a singular slice of pie. I look at it longingly but she sets it in front of Dean and quickly paces away before he can tell her to get another. Dean glances at me and notices I'm staring at the pie.   
  
"Here, have it. I'm not that hungry," he says and I feel a pang of guilt in my gut. I am /not/ going to steal his pie.   
  
"I won't steal your pie, Dean," I say, pushing it back in front of him. He grumbles and takes a scoop of it on the spoon.   
  
"Hey, you've got something on your-" I turn to him and he shoves the spoon into my mouth, not bothering to finish his sentence. My eyes widen in surprise and I'm probably imagining it, but he glances away from my face, almost like he's embarrassed.   
  
I grab the spoon and scoop up a piece, and shove it in his mouth, ignoring how I like the fact that it's been in both of our mouths. Abandoning the spoon, he takes a bit of the whipped cream off the top on one finger and shoves it in my mouth. Without thinking about it, I suck at it, trying to get the sugary deliciousness off of his finger. I look up at him and his face is overcome by a expression that I've never seen before in this way, but can only be called hunger. I finally pull away from his finger and we both just sit there for a few minutes looking at each other and blushing.   
  
~~~  
  
Unknown to the boys, Bobby and Ellen walked in the room right as their pie fight started, pausing to watch them.   
  
"Bet you twenty bucks they have sex within a month," Ellen says and Bobby looks at her.   
  
"Make it a week, and you're on," Bobby says, planting a small kiss on his wife's lips to seal the deal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, that was fun. Oh, yeah, Bobby and Ellen are married but she kept her last name because she's a teacher and didn't wanna confuse the kids.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
(Dean's POV)  
  
"Okay, so you have to round the point six up to one making it three divided by X, right?" I ask, starting to think I understand. He groans and puts his head onto the counter.  
  
"No, Dean, you moron. It can't. be rounded until you find X and even then, it would round up to four not three. Why don't you understand this stuff?" Cas asks, his voice borderline whiney. My breath hitches at the thought of him whining about something else, something that no matter how much I longed to make happen, never will. From what I can tell, Cas is straight, crushing any hope that I might have about us getting together.  
  
"-and you multiply the quotient with the X, getting five X," Cas says, leaning over so he could motion to the numbers on my paper. I am definitely not distracted by the way his shoulder is pressed onto my chest, or the way his face is just next to his, close enough that if I just turned a little he could smash our lips together. I could almost hear the surprised gasp the angel would make before submitting to the kiss and moaning softly. I would trail my hands up the boys body, stopping when they were able to tangle in his amazing sex hair that I can't help myself from wanting to tug at.   
  
"If you aren't even going to pay attention to me, I don't know why I'm even still here," Cas grumbles as he realizes that I'm not listening to what he is saying. He shoves the sheet into his bag, pulling it up onto his shoulder before turning to walk away and I feel a bit of panic clamp down on my. He can't leave, I don't want him too. The only reason the dark haired mystery boy had hung out with him all day was because it was his only way to avoid a detention and I knew all too well that if he leaves it will be the end of it. He will go back to his friend group and stop talking to me, the new kid.   
  
Before I can process what I'm doing, my hand is wrapped around his surprisingly muscled arm. I spin him back to face me, causing him to trip on his own feet a bit and tumble forward, knocking into my chest. He jumps back, surprised at the physical contact and a slight blush crosses his cheeks. I run a hand though my hair, not sure what to say.   
  
"I'm sorry. I just- I mean I- Uh, I'm sorry. I just got a little distracted, it wasn't my fault." It was your fucking good looks taunting me, I add in my head. "Please, don't go. I haven't finished my work and Ellen said you were free to stay for dinner if you wanted. But you don't have to if you have a better place to be. Crap, that sounds like I'm trying to guilt trip you or something. I just meant that if you wanted you could stay for longer. Not that it makes that big of a difference, it doesn't really matter. No, I mean, I want you to, I just don't want to force you or something and I-" I can feel my cheeks burning and want to hit my head against the wall. Why the hell am I haveing trouble talking to him? He's just another person, but while he stared at me with an unnervingly blank expression I felt embarrassment and panic seeping into my bloodstream.   
  
"Dean. Shut up," he says and panic wells in my chest again. I do my best to hide it but I can feel it on my face. Relief washes over me as Cas pushes past me and sits back on the stool he was sitting on. "Do your math." A small smile stretches my face and I force it down.   
  
I sit back down on the stool and try to get the last two done. Giving up, I just scribble some random stuff and look at Cas to see him texting. He notices my look and glances up.   
  
"Telling Anna I'm staying here for dinner," he says and I nod. Before we can do anything, Jo comes in. Don't get me wrong, I love the girl like a sister, but she's being mean to Cas and it's really starting to piss me off. She doesn't have to be such a bitch.   
  
"Mom says dinners done. Is he staying?" she asks, throwing a disgusted look at Cas. Anger wells up in me and I shove it down. All I want to do is defend Cas from her not so subtle jabs, but he doesn't seem bothered by it and he might think it's weird that I would jump to his defense. I mean, I've know the guy like eight hours. I don't want him getting the wrong idea and freaking out, the only reason I want to defend him is because he's nice, right? Right?  
  
"Yes, Cas is staying for dinner. Tell Ellen we'll be in soon," I say, flashing her a forced smile. She walks off angrily and I turn to Cas.   
  
There is no way I find myself staring at the skin on his chest exposed from where his shirt had ridden up while he stretches, right? Sure, he's madly attractive and I find myself thinking dirty things about him way too often, but if he catches me looking, it might scare him off and he's my only chance at surviving this hellhole of a town with any kind of a fun time. Without realizing it, I discover that my gaze has raised to his startlingly blue eyes which are staring into mine right now.   
  
I clear my throat and stand up up, leading him into the back room which holds a table we eat at on nights when Bobby or Ellen works the bar. I'm vaguely surprised to see the guy from lunch sitting at our table next to Sam, Ash I think. Bobby and Ellen have the sides of the table, forcing me to sit on a relatively small bench with Jo and Cas, meaning I'm going to have to suffer through approximately an hour of having his leg pressed to mine, feeling his body heat seeping onto my skin. His amazing arm is going to be pressed up against mine as he uses his amazing mouth to suck the food off of his silverware. And, oh god, his-  
  
"Dean? Are you alright?" he asks putting his hand on my shoulder, oblivious to my embarrassing train of thought. I ignore how his strong fingers are gripping me, definitely not picturing them grabbing my hips as he slams into me. I blush and pull away slightly. His arm drops and I swallow my disappointment.   
  
"Yeah, sorry. I was thinking," I say before sliding onto the bench next to Jo so that he doesn't have to sit next to her while she's being a bitch. We all eat in silence for a few moments, awkwardly I might add.   
  
"So, Cas, do you have a girlfriend?" Ellen asks, causing me to choke on the bite of turkey I was chewing.  
  
"Or maybe a boyfriend?" Bobby asks, causing me to choke yet again on the water I was using to unclog my throat. I have mixed feelings about them asking; on one hand I want to know, on the other I feel bad for putting him through this and it's fairly embarrassing to me too.   
  
"No, I'm not currently dating anyone," he says, a blush creeping over his cheeks and he nervously glances at me. Oh god, that look could mean so many things. He was checking to see that I heard so that I would know, or maybe because he wanted to see my reaction, or, oh god, my personal favorite, he looked at me because he wished I was his boyfriend.   
  
"Dean's single too, from what I know," Bobby adds, snapping me from my thoughts. A blush creeps onto my cheeks and Cas looks at me, glancing away again quickly. God, this is going to be a long dinner. 


	5. Chapter 5

(Cas' POV)  
  
"Cas, you should sleep over tonight," Bobby says, and Ellen shoots him a knowing smile. I feel my stomach tingle at the thought of sharing a bed with Dean. Oh how, what would it be like to wake up to his smiling eyes in the morning and find him just watching me? You might think that sounds creepy, but to me, it's a fucking dream. Wait, what? I'm not gay. I don't want to know what Dean would look like in the morning, with messy hair and in nothing but his underwear. Maybe his hair would be extra messed up because of my hands pulling it as his hot lips move over mine, playfully nipping at my bottom lip. He would swallow my moans and his tongue would run along my mouth until I granted him entrance and-  
  
"Cas? You okay?" Dean asks, a slight blush sweeping across his face from Bobby's suggestion. I feel an answering heat creeping onto my face and I reposition myself, trying to hide the boner I got from thinking of Dean, glad that the table mostly covers me.   
  
"Yeah, sorry. Uh, I don't know... I've got church in the morning and Anna's waiting for me..." I say trailing off. It it had been Dean that had suggested it, that would have been a completely different story, but it was Bobby, meaning Dean might not want me to stay.   
  
"Church? Dean, you should go! You and Cas could sleep at his house if Anna is waiting for him and go to church in the morning together!" Ellen adds. Dean blushes and glances at me, looking to see if that'd be something I would want to do. My breath catches as I shrug.   
  
"If Cas wants to, I will," he says and all eyes in the room turn to me, but I'm only looking at the most beautiful ones I've ever seen, Dean's green ones. I nod and he smiles.   
  
~~~  
  
We make it to my house and head to my room. I try not to get too distracted by Dean sitting on my bed.   
  
"I'll go get us some snacks and a movie to watch," I say before heading out of the room and to the kitchen. I'm so distracted by thinking of Dean sitting up all alone in my room waiting for me that I bump into Anna. She smiles awkwardly.   
  
"Hey Cassie. I haven't really talked to you in a while. What's up?" she asks. Great, this is gonna be awkward.  
  
"Not much. You?" I say as I move past her and put some popcorn in the microwave.   
  
"Same. Oh, popcorn! We should do a movie night like we used to! Put on The Notebook, have some ice cream..." she suggests and guilt pangs in my chest. The microwave beeps and I pour the popcorn into a bowl.   
  
"I'd like to but Dean's in my room waiting for me. How about after school sometime next week?" I say as I grab two cups and a bottle of lemonade.   
  
"I'm going to Africa to experience what life of like there for three months next week," she says, disappointment clear in her voice. Surprise shots through me. Africa? Why didn't I know about this?  
  
"Oh. That's... cool," I say. I grab the half gallon of vanilla ice cream and a few spoons.   
  
"Yeah, Michael and Raphael don't approve. They say it's irresponsible to leave but I really want to know what it's like to live in a poor country. I mean, we've had money our entire lives, it'll be good to see what it's like to be really poor," she says as I make my way to the movie shelf. I look over the movies and realize I have no idea what Dean would like to watch.   
  
"That's really cool. Hey, what movie do you think Dean would like best?" I ask and turn to face her. She has a look of annoyance and a hint of sadness on her face and I momentarily feel bad before remembering Dean sitting on my bed waiting for me.  
  
"Nevermind, I'll just ask him," I say and head back to my room with all our food in my arms. I set them on my bedside table and realize that Dean in lying on my bed and he's stretched out so much that his shirt had risen up a little, giving me the perfect view of his abs.   
  
"Uh, I didn't know what movie you wanted to watch," I say and he sits up. I continue ignoring how much I like the sight of him lying on my bed.   
  
"Do you have The Lord of the Rings?" he asks and I shake my head no.   
  
"If it's on Netflix I can stream it into here though," I say. He nods and lies back down. I grab the remote and lie down next to him. He reached over me and I have to bite my lips to keep from yelping as his body presses to mine. He grabs the tub of ice cream and lies back down. I get to Netfilx and groan. They don't have it. I look at Dean and nearly groan again. He has some ice cream dripping down his chin and I resist the urge to clean it off of him. With my tongue. I could continue licking until my mouth is on his. His hands would travel up to my head and his fingers would knot in my hair and- no. He doesn't think of me like that. This is a unrequited one way attraction.   
  
"Cas? Are you okay?" he asks and I look away, a blush creeping onto my face. I chuckle nervously and nod.   
  
"Yeah, sorry. They don't have it. What do you want to watch?" I ask.   
  
"Umm, how about The Hunger Games? Sam was talking about how they just got it on here. He watched it at his friend Gabriel's house," he says.   
  
"Like my brother Gabriel?" I ask as I flip to the movie.   
  
"Maybe. That be cool if it is, they're like best friends," he says. We fall silent as the movie starts playing and I grab the popcorn. He takes another bite of ice cream with a small moan and I nearly choke on a kernel. This is going to be a long movie.  
  
~~~  
  
"But Katniss, it's not safe here, don't leave me alone!" I call, drawing a laugh out of him again. We muted the movie and have been making up things for the characters to say.   
  
"Peeta, stop being a whiney bitch. Its not very attractive," Dean replies and I laugh yet again, nearly spitting ot the lemonade I was drinking.   
  
"Come on, at least give me a kiss before you leave incase one of us dies," I say in my fake Peeta voice. Dean laughs again and Katniss leans in to kiss Peeta. Suddenly Dean is on top of me, his face inches from mine. I suck in a breath as he leans in a little closer. His lips connect with my nose and a gasp gets caught in my throat.   
  
"There. Incase we die," he says, continuing with the role play. Katniss is long gone from the cave but Dean stays ontop of me. His eyes flick down to my lips and it's as if time has slowed down as his lips slowly connect with mine.   
  
My hands go to his neck and his tanle in my hair just like I'd pictured earlier. It's more of a emotional kiss than a passionate one and neither of us feel the need to deepen it. When he pulls back I suck in a deep breath. His beautiful green eyes are locked into my plain blue ones.   
  
"Cas," he says, his voice breathy. A small whimper escapes my lips at the sound of his aroused voice saying my name.   
  
"Shut up and kiss me," I say before slamming my lips onto his. This time it's a passionate kiss and his hands travel down my body and pull of my shirt, breaking the kiss. His lips connect with my neck and I'm powerless to stop the moan that passed my lips.   
  
"D-Dean," I manage to studder out. "We need to be quiet." He doesn't respond and I don't care. I'm to focused on his hand which is slowly traveling down toward my crotch. It makes contact with my dick and he presses his lips to mine to swallow my moan.   
  
His hands leaves me and I whimper at the loss. I open my eyes and see that he is pulling his shirt off. This is my chance to do the thing I've wanted to do since I met him.   
  
I lean forward and suck at his neck. I'm not sure what comes over me but I shove him so that I'm the one in top. My mouth trails down his chest and to the top of his pants, leaving hot kisses in it's wake. I drag my eyes up to his and don't look away as I unbutton his pants and pull them off of him followed by his briefs.  
  
I suck in a deep breath at the sight of his erect cock. I freeze up, never having seen a dick other than mine and the one horrifying time in the men's locker room. Dean seems to notice.   
  
"Cas," Dean says. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" he starts but I silence him by pressing my lips to his. I allow him to ease us so that he is back on top. He breaks the kiss and looks me in the eyes to make sure I'm okay with this. To respond I press my lips back onto his. Without breaking apart, his hands trail down my stomach and pull my pants and briefs off. His hand gently rubs me as his lips swallow and noises that threaten to escape me.   
  
Before we can do anything else, my door swings open and in marches my older brother Raphael. Me and Dean jump apart and struggle to pull on our clothes.   
  
"Castiel, you have committed a great sin. First Anna decides to travel and now you perform unacceptable acts with another male, this family is clearly broken and I will be taking control," he says. "This is not how our father wanted things. From now on you will be homeschooled and are not allowed to leave the house without me except for church on Sundays. If you try to rebel, you will be ejected from the family. Is this clear?" he says and I glance at Dean who looks... I'm not sure how to describe it but it's a look that makes me want to kiss it away.   
  
"No, Raphael. You are not my father and even if you were, you'd still have no right to judge me. He abandoned his family. He's the reason this family is broken, not me," I yell back. A look of disgust and hated crosses Raphael's face and I storm to my closet and grab the tan trench coat that I keep there. I also grab a white button up shirt, blue tie, and a pair of dress pants. It's the first outfit I saw, okay?  
  
"I'm 17, I'm old enough to live alone," I say as I reach into my sock drawer and pull out the two thousand dollars I keep hidden there. "Don't follow me because if you do all you'll find is me sinning even more and I don't feel like being judged. So fuck you Raphael, you're an assbutt," I say and smile at the shock that crosses his face. I grab Dean's hand and pull him out of my house.   
  
"I'm sorry Dean. I didn't mean to..." I trail off, looking down at the ground. I look back up at him before continuing. "I'm pretty sure I just ran away." A tear prickels my eye and before I can react, his arms are wrapped around me. A tear streams down by face and he pulls away a little.   
  
"It's okay. Get in the car. Bobby will help us," he says and I hope he's right. With a final squeeze, he pulls away and gets in the drivers side of his black Impala. We sit in silence as he drives.   
  
"Assbutt? Really?" he asks suddenly and a blush creeps onto my cheeks.   
  
"I don't swear, okay?" I say, defending myself and he chuckles. A small smile tugs at my lips and I hope that this didn't just completely ruin everything and make him hate me. Well, it doesn't seem like it, so maybe if I don't bring it up, he won't freak out over what happened.   
  
~~~  
  
(Dean's POV. Back to where Cas pulls him out of the house)  
  
Fuck. Fucking shit. Did I just kiss Cas? Fuck. He isn't gay, what if he freaks out and won't talk to me anymore. He's the only fucking friend I have in this place, what would I do? Shit. Okay, play it cool. Don't bring it up, that could cause a melt down. Just let it go, pretend nothing happened. Don't kiss him, don't touch him, don't even look at him for too long. I can /not/ afford to lose him over a stupid fucking kiss. Well, it /was/ a bit more than a kiss, but... No. It won't happen again. I won't lose him.   
  
"I'm sorry Dean. I didn't mean to..." Cas starts, trailing off and looking at the ground. He looks back up at me and my breath hitches at the sight of his sad eyes. "I'm pretty sure I just ran away." Fuck. I can't stop myself as a tear leaks from his eye, it's almost as if my body is on auto-pilot. He is in my arms before I can stop myself.   
  
"It's okay. Get in the car. Bobby will help us," I say and see a spark of hope flash in his eyes. Oh god, I hope I'm right. I squeeze him tightly for a second before pulling away completely. We climb into the car and sit it silence for a few minutes.  
  
"Assbutt? Really?" I ask suddenly and I see a flush creep across Cas' face. Fuck, that adorable.   
  
"I don't swear, okay?" He defends and I chuckle slightly. He smiles slightly, a sight I like a lot more than his tears. I have to physically force myself not to lean over and press my lips to his, my fingers growing white from gripping the wheels so tightly. I breath through it and soon, I pull into my driveway. 


	6. Chapter 6

(Bobby's POV)  
  
I rub at the leftover mashed potatoes that are sticking to the plate and think about the bet. It's obvious that the two idijits are gonna do something, the question is just when. I doubt it'll be tonight, even with the sleepover, because they've only know each other for a few hours, but I'm pretty sure it'll be within a week.   
  
The door creaks open and I put down the plate I was washing and rinse off my hands. I turn to see a very awkward looking Dean and Cas. When I look at them, they seem to avoid my gaze and both of their cheeks are flaming.   
  
"Bobby, I, uh- we kind of- we need your help!" Dean blurts, still unable to look me in the eyes. "Cas kind of get kicked out of his house and he needs a place to stay. I just thought that maybe you could let him stay here for a while? I mean, it's okay if you say no, we'll understand but I just thought that maybe-" Dean rambles and I cut him off, eyes narrowed.   
  
"What got you kicked out?" I ask, looking at Cas. He flushes again and looks at Dean with big eyes. The other boy jumps to his defense and I smile.   
  
"His family is super religious and he, uh, missed church?" Dean says, clearly a lie. He glances at Cas and they both look away from each other and my smile grows bigger.   
  
"Ellen! Where's my money?!" I yell and she comes practically running into the room. She smirks at the boys before sighing and digging a twenty out of her wallet and handing it to me. I shove it in my pocket and look back at the boys. They both have shocked expressions on their faces and Ellen giggles.   
  
"It was only a matter of time before you boys did it," she says. They awkwardly glance at each other again and I think back to what they said.   
  
"Yeah, Cas you can stay here for as long as you need to. You and Dean can share a room," I say with a small smirk. They both flush again and Ellen nods. I go back to washing the dishes and after a few minutes the boys leave. 


	7. Chapter 7

(Dean's POV)

 

The night passes uneventfully with me sleeping on the floor and letting Cas have the bed. When I wake up in the morning Cas is still asleep and I take the opportunity to get dressed.

 

I walk over to my bed and throw away any thoughts of Cas being wrapped in the bed which I sleep in, sometimes without any clothes on, his skin pressed where mine has been. I shake my head, clearing the thoughts from my mind.

 

"Cas? You awake?" I ask quietly and he doesn't respond. I reach a hand down and shake his shoulder slightly. He shuffles so that he is on his back, limiting my ability to shake him. I attempt again and his hand shoots up and grips mine tightly.

He pulls, knocking me off balance so that I fall down onto him. His arms snake around my head, shoving my face onto his stomach. I can't really breathe like this and he grumbles happily.

 

"Oh god, Cas please wake up. I can't breath," I mumble into his stomach, ignoring his his muscles felt on my face and the soft press of his bare skin. He doesn't respond and I try getting out of his arms. He doesn't budge and I groan. I try calling to him and getting out of his grip again and I'm starting to get light headed from not breathing properly. Desperate for air, I do the first thing I think of; I bite down on his stomach. He lets out a help, letting go of me.

 

I stumble back so I'm sitting on the floor. I gasp for breath and look up to where Cas is sitting on my bed in his boxers rubbing his stomach.

 

"Why did you bite me?!" he cries, glaring at me. I catch my breath, able to breath normally again.

 

"You were strangling me on your fucking chest muscles!" I cry and stand up. He glares at me and I can't stop myself from thinking of how hot that is. Like fuck. "Get dressed, we have school." I say before heading downstairs to get food. I dig into the bowl of Lucky Charms and wait for him to come down.

 

Hearing footsteps on the stairs I look up hopefully, assuming its Cas. It's not. It's Sam. I didn't get the chance to talk to him yesterday.

 

"Hey Sammy, how was your first day?" I ask and he groans. He reaches for the Lucky Charms but I clutch them to my chest protectively. He makes a face and I toss them to him, not /really/ caring that he gets the last bowl.

 

"Was boring," he groans, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "You?" I smile as I think back on the day I shared with Cas and Sam raises an eyebrow at my expression.

 

"Good, I say vaguely. Before he can say anything, Cas comes down the stairs, shirt, coat, and tie in hand. I can't stop my eyes from trailing up and down his entire body and Sam shoots me a knowing look and a suppressed smile. I glare at him and look back at Cas. He stands awkwardly at the door, unsure where to go.

 

"Want some food?" I ask, putting my dish in the sink. He shakes his head no. "You're sure?" I ask and he nods.

 

"Whats the matter, Dean got your tongue... in his mouth?!" Sam calls as he sprints up the stairs, cereal still sitting on the counter.

 

"Fuck you, Sam!" I yell after him, a slight blush creeping up my neck. I avoid Cas' eyes and grab my backpack from the floor. I look back at him and see he has put his clothes on fully.

 

I call to Sam to see if he needs a ride which he denies, saying a friend was going to come pick him up so me and Cas hop in the Impala, him in the passengers seat and me driving.

 

~~~

Our first classes roll by without much happening and soon it's lunch and I'm following Cas to his usual table. We sit down and I see a bunch of people who I don't know. Cas gestures to me before talking.

 

"Gabriel, this is Dean, Dean, this is Gabriel. I believe that him and your brother hang out sometimes," Cas explains to me before turning to the person next to Gabriel.

 

"Zachariah, this is Dean, Dean. Zachariah. He's my brother and so is Gabe," he says and Zachariah glares at me. Well, he seems like a big bag of dicks.

 

Lunch is awkward and full of silence. I eat the slop being passed off as soup until I notice that Cas has some dripping down his chin. I laugh slightly and he looks over at me.

 

"You have a..." I say, pointing to his chin. He tilts his head in an adorable way to express his confusion. I point again and he wipes at it, completely missing. I sigh and shove my thumb gently to his chin, wiping away the soup. His eyes meet mine and I freeze, my hand still on his chin. His amazing blue eyes search mine and I break away when I hear someone clear their throat. My cheeks heat up and I can tell Cas is blushing too.

 

"Bell rang," Gabriel says, shooting Cas a smirk. "You two might have noticed if you weren't busy eye-fucking each other." Cas glares at him and we get up and dump our trays and start walking to class.

 

We change into our gym clothes and I would be lying if I said I didn't peak at Cas' mostly naked body. We walk out and immediately partner together. River leads us through some stretches and everything is normal until the worlds worst stretch ever is up. You know, the one where I have to silently suffer through Cas pressing his face to my crotch. He tries to stay as far from me as possible but River comes over and tsks.

 

"Boys, I warned you last class. Get closer, be physical!" she says loudly before pushing Cas further down onto me. My cheeks heat up again and I save an image of Cas' face buried in my crotch to edit later, maybe with less clothes.

 

/You won't be alone later. He shares a room with you now,/ a small logical part of my brain corrects and I mentally groan. River tells us to switch and I lean forward. I attempt to ignore our compromising position but it's surprisingly hard when my cheeks are pressed against his muscled thighs. When the stretches are over, we run laps and pass a football a few times.

 

Classes end and soon me and Cas are outside the school waiting for Sam. The short kid (AN: remember young Sammy guys? He was short!) walks out of the freshman part of the building. He silently gets in the passengers seat and Cas slides into the back, behind Sam. We are all relatively quiet until we reach the house.

 

"Wanna go get some burgers at the mall, Cas?" I ask and Sam rolls his eyes and heads into the house. Cas nods slowly and climbs into the front without getting out of the car. I would have been pissed at anyone else but with Cas, it didn't really matter.

 

/What the hell's going on with you? Are you being a little faggot again? Well too bad, he will never like you,/ a voice that sounds much to like my dads for comfort says. I push he bought away and refuse to think of the look of Jason's tearful eyes staring at me as the life drained from his body.

 

"Dean? Are you okay?" Cas asks from besides me and I shake my head, wiping at the tears that threatened to spill out of my eyes. I glance over at him, hoping he didn't notice.

 

"Dean, you don't have to pretend just like you don't have to tell me," he says gently and I'm talking before I even realize it.

 

"My dad killed my boyfriend and it's all my fault!" I say loudly, covering my face as I start uncontrollably sobbing. I mentally curse myself, wondering why the hell I said that.

 

/Because his gorgeous blue eyes make you want to do things and that dark hair makes you want to grab his and pull his body to yours, maybe gently tug at the gorgeous locks before pushing him against a wall and having your way with him," a rational and undeniable part of my brain chimes in. I push the thought away before it can cause this situation to be any less awkward. I jump when I feel his hand gently touch my shoulder.

 

"Tell me what happened," he demands, his sexy deep voice gentle yet demanding, leaving no room for arguments. My eyes meet his and I'm talking before I can even think of what to say.

 

"At the beginning of this year I realized I was bisexual and my friend Jason and I started dating. We were at my house one day after school when my dad showed up early, drunk and raving mad. He attacked me and Jason, who had been hiding under my bed, jumped out and tried fighting him. I was too hurt to help and out of no where my dad pulled out a knife. Sam had run to call the cops and I couldn't stop him. The cops showed up and pulled my dad off of him, but it was too late. I held Jason in my arms as he died. When he had stabbed him it ruptured a lung and they couldn't do anything to help him. My dad got sent to jail so me and Sam came to live with our godparents, Ellen and Bobby," I say. I stiffen in surprise as I feel his strong yet gentle arms wrap around me and his warm body press to mine. It's awkward considering where we are sitting in the car but it's comforting enough to stop the tears. I relax into his embrace and let my tears fall freely. I stop crying and sit in his arms a moment, relishing in the feeling of him pressed to me before I pull back and wipe at my eyes, turning the car back on and pulling out of the driveway.

  
"Dean, I'm sorry," Cas says and I don't respond, just keep my eyes glued on the road before me. "My mom died while giving birth to Gabriel, my twin brother Jimmy died while we were swimming when we were four and not long after my dad left. I understand, it sucks and I would like to say it gets better with time, but it doesn't. It's something that'll haunt you forever. Just remembers I'm here if you ever need to talk," he says and I slowly nod.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean's POV  
  


We sit in silence for the rest of the ride. We soon reach a little burger shop in the mall that I found the other day and hop out of the car. We walk in silence and grab a table in the corner. I grab a menu and look at it until I spot the bacon cheeseburger that I want. I grin and look at Cas.

"Know what you want?" I ask and he shakes his head no.

"Anna, my sister, forced us to be vegans," he says and I smile, signaling for the hot waitress walking by to come over. I ordered two bacon cheeseburgers and an extra large chocolate shake and Cas tilts his head in an adorable way. I watch the waitress wink at me and saunter off, her hips swaying more than necessary and I can't pull my eyes away until she's gone. I look at Cas who still looks confused.

"She is so into me," I say with a cocky smirk. He still looks confused so I clarify, "She wants to have sex with me, Cas." He seems to understand and blushes.

"Oh my god, are you actually a virgin?" I ask with a laugh, causing his cheeks to heat up even more along with the tops of his ears. I smile as I devise a plan.

"Hey, my friend here thought you were the most beautiful girl he has ever seen but he's way to shy to tell you," I say to a random girl who passes. She blushes and looks at Cas out of surprise.

"Really? You're cute too. You, uh, can have my number if you want," she says that I can tell she's nervous. Cas looks at her wide-eyed and glances at me, unsure what to do.

"He would love it," I say. "He gets really nervous when he's around pretty girls." She blushes again and pulls a marker from her purse before scribbling her number and name on to his napkin. She smiles and hurries away to catch up with her friends.

"Dean! Why did you do that?!" he asks loudly, an angry yet scared look on his face.

"I'm not letting you go through high school a virgin!" I say with a laugh as I grab the napkin. "And Alex here seems to agree. So, you should text her now. You come off as the nervous first-time type and texting her immediately would fit that persona," I said, a cocky grin on my face when I ignore how much the thought of him with someone else makes me want to be sick. Or break something. Or both. Both is good.

"But I don't want to have sex with her!" Cas says loudly again and I pause. Could that be because of what happened between us before? I shake the thought from my head. He doesn't like me like that.

"Okay, well let's find a girl that you do like," I say, looking around see if there are any eligible females. "What's your type?" He looks at me a moment before answering.

"Preferably green or hazel eyes, lighter hair, tall, and a caring person," he says, an emotion I can't understand filling his face. I look around and see a blonde haired blue-eyed girl who is a little short but seems to fit his parameters.

"Her?" I asked, slightly nodding to her. He looks before turning back to me.

"Hair is too long," he mumbles and anger spikes through me. I calm myself and give him a smile. Our waitress saunters back over to our table with our food. She places Cas' burger in front of him and turns to me, thrusting her chest out more than necessary.

"Here you go," she says, giving me a smile which I can't help but realize how hers doesn't make me feel the same way as Cas' rare smile does. I force a flirty smile and wink at her as she purposely puts the cup closer to the wall then needed so her boobs are in my face. She pulls back before swaying her hip as she walks away. I grab the shake and smile as I see that 'Sandra' gave me her number.

"After we eat I'll take you to some girly spots so we can find you a chick," I say before taking a bite of the burger. A small satisfied moan escapes me and I take a sip of the shake.

"Anna would kill me if she found out I even considered eating this," he says before smiling and taking a big bite. He moans and I distract myself from it by taking another sip of the milkshake. We devour our burgers and I drink most of the milkshake. When he finishes his burger, I push the shake to him. He glances at me before taking a sip. He makes a face and pushes it back to me.

"It's melty," Cas says that I shrug and take a big gulp. I ignore how his lips have been where mine currently are and how if I try I might be able to taste him.

We finish our food and I drag him to the most girly looking store that isn't Victoria's Secret.

"It's my mission to get you laid," I say fake smile plastered on my face. He keeps his clear of emotion. I look around the store and spot a tall blonde in some cute clothes that show off her curves but don't make her look like a whore. This is a perfect match for Cas and I turn back to him.

"What about her?" I ask and he turns to look at her before shrugging. I roll my eyes and walk over to her, Cas trailing behind me.

"Excuse me, my friend Castiel here was too afraid to say hi to you because you're so pretty. I said you look like a nice person and wouldn't make fun of him for going to an all boys school and not knowing how to talk to pretty girls," I say, making up some excuse for his silence. She looks us both up and down.

"Not into the shy type but you, well, I want your number," she says, cocky grin stretched across her face. I grimace, angry about the dismissive comments she made about Cas. She doesn't even know him. But deep down I am glad she turned him down.

"A bitch like you? No," I say before pulling Cas away from her. We head back out of the store and he freezes. He pulls me in front of him, as if to use me as a human shield. I'm momentarily distracted by his hand on my arm and how I can feel his hot breath across my neck. I get myself to snap out of it and look around to see why he might be hiding. He slowly moves us away from the store and into the men's bathroom which is unfortunately a one-person room on the small side so I'm fairly close to him, my ass pressed to his hips.

"Uh, Cas? What are we hiding from?" I ask quietly.

"My brother Lucifer and his friends," he says quietly and I manage to turn to face him, my hands on either side of his head and our bodies pressed together.

"You can't be afraid of him. We have to go out there," I say. He shakes his head no and looks away so I pull his head close so he has no choice. He closes his eyes and I growl again.

"I don't want to," he says his voice small and childlike. He sounds sad and scared and regret clamps at my heart.

"Cas, I'm sorry, okay?" I say, my voice softening as I let go of his face. His eyes slowly flick open and the sadness in them makes me want to cry. Before thinking about what I'm doing I'm pulling his lips to mine and licking the seam of his lips. He let out a small shock noise and I pull away.

"Oh god, Cas, I'm sorry-" I start only to be cut off by his delicious lips. On mine. Kissing me. I respond immediately as his hands snake up to my hair. I wrap my arms around his waist and pull his body to mine. A small moan escapes his lips and it is by far the hottest sound that I have ever heard. My leg presses the spot that is rapidly hardening in between his legs. He moans and I move my lips down to suck on his neck.

"Oh fuck," he gasps out tugging at my hair hard and causing little explosions of painful pleasure to surge through my body. A small moan escapes my lips and he does it again, this time on purpose. I gasp and attempt to keep in another embarrassing noise. Before we can do anything else, there is a loud banging on the door.

We both freeze and I call out, "Someone's in here!" my voice husky with arousal.

"Sorry man, I just gotta piss real bad," a male voice says from outside the door and horror crosses Cas' face. I look into his eyes and can tell who it is. It's his asshole brother. Anger makes me clench my teeth.

"Too fucking bad," I growl and Cas looks up at me with even more worry in his eyes. My anger diminishes as I look at him and I rub a thumb over his cheek. Theres an angry grunt from outside the door and loud footsteps walking away. Cas sinks into my arms in relief and I hold him to my chest tightly.

"I'm sorry, Cas," I say and he nods slightly. I pull him up so he's looking in my eyes again and give him a small smile which he trys to return.

"I just wan't to leave," Cas says in a quiet and broken voice and I nod, hugging him again.

"Let's go then," I say and he shakes his head frantically.

"I can't go out there with him," he says and I think. A smile crosses my face and he looks at me curiously.

"Well then I guess you'll just have to trust me," I say before pulling his lips to mine again. He responds practically immediately and my hands go to his ass and I pull him up so he has his legs wrapped around me and I'm carrying him. I fumble around behind me until I manage to get the door open and back out of it, pushing his against the wall and stabilizing us for a moment.

We keep kissing the entire time and I nibble on his bottom lip, causing a small moan to escape his slightly swollen lips. I lift him again and I carry him a few steps closer to the exit before pausing to lean against the wall again for a moment. His arms are around my neck and he tugs gently at my hair, causing me to gasp into his lips.

I walk a little farther again and ignore all the odd looks we are getting. I can barely concentrate on walking with him kissing me but I manage to get us out of the mall and to my car. I set him down and pull away, a cocky smile crossing my face as I try to avoid showing him how much that actually effected me.

"Seems like you might be starting to like kissing me," I joke, noticing his hard on and he flushes, his eyes going to the ground. I realize I still have him pressed against the car and I awkwardly back up, running a hand through my hair. I walk over to my side of the car and hop in after readjusting my pants to at least partially hide my boner. Hopefully.

Cas gets in a few seconds after and refuses to look at me. I frown and reach out and turn him so that he's facing me.

"Cas, what's wrong? Oh god, did I go to far? I shouldn't have kissed you, I just couldn't stop myself. You just looked so distressed and your lips were there, just, like, taunting me. I'm sorry, Cas, I just..." I ramble and slowly trail off as a cute smile situates itself on his face. "What? Did I miss something?" I ask and he nods. I frown and think but come up blank. Why the hell is he smiling? A second ago he wouldn't even look at me.

Before I can say that I have no idea why he's smiling, his lips are on mine. I kiss him back and he pulls away with a smile on his face.

"I kissed you back," he says and a smile spreads across my face. He pulls away again and looks out the window. "Come on, we'll be late for dinner."

I can't seem to get the smile to leave my face as we drive away.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter reveals the plot twist. If you want this to stay a relatively fluffy sweet story, do not read this chapter. I will be posting a part two of this story that just continues how this book is, fluffy, sweet and funny.  
> -Sunny

Cas' POV

He sets me down, still using his entire body to pin me to the car. A grin stretches across his face. 

"Seems like you might be starting to like kissing me," he jokes, his eyes shifting down to where our bodies are pressed together and he can no doubt feel my erection. I flush and look at the ground behind him and he seems to realize that I'm still pressed against the car because he backs up and runs a hand through his hair.

He walks over to his side of the car and I take the chance to steady my breathing. Once I get control of myself at least partially I get in the car. I look out the window, refusing to look at Dean. I'm still partially hard and if I look at him I wont be able to stop the fantasies that come to mind.

Suddenly there's a hand on my shoulder and Dean is turning me so that I'm looking at him, a frown etched across his face.

"Cas, what's wrong? Oh god, did I go too far? I shouldn't have kissed you, I just couldn't stop myself. You just looked so distressed and your lips were there, just, like, taunting me. I'm sorry, Cas, I just..." he rambles and slowly trails off as he notices the smile on my face. "What? Did I miss something?" he asks and I nod. His frown remains and he looks like he's trying to figure out what it is. Before he can say anything else, I'm pulling his lips to mine and kissing him. He responds immediately and I pull back, keeping out foreheads pressed together.

I smile before talking, "I kissed you back." An amazing smile spreads across his face and I pull away fully and look out the window again. "Come on, we'll be late for dinner."

He starts the car and drives away and I've never been happier. A small part of me screams that this is wrong, that something bad is coiling, getting ready to strike. I push the thought away and concentrate on now.

* * *

 

"Cas? Cas! Look at me, open your eyes, okay? Just wake up, okay Cas? Come on, good job," a familiar voice filled with panic says and red hot pain surges through me as I slowly attempt to lift my head and look at him. I drag my eyes open and Dean looks back at me, relief crossing his face. He smiles a small broken smile and I feel my eyes starting to close again 

"No, come on. Cas, stay awake. Stay awake for me, okay?" he says but my vision is already tunneling and my hearing is fading.

"Dean! The damn Djinn has an entire cave of other victims and-" my hearing cuts off and suddenly I'm jolting awake in bed, sweat drenching my body. I look next to me and see Dean's chest rise and fall sleepily. I grab my phone and open Google.

[Jin] I type and no results that are even remotely like my dream pop up.

[Jinn] Closer, it seems, some mythological stuff but not exactly what I was looking for. At the top of the page there's the thing that says did you mean: Djinn? I click it and a few pages pop up. I click the first Wikipedia one and read it. Horror starts building in my chest as I continue reading up on what it is.

Djinns are creatures that are kind of like the modern day genies in the way that they give you your biggest wish but majorly different in other respects. These creatures feed off of human life and have been in mythology for years. According to legend they capture humans and drain their life within twenty four hours. Most Djinn feed off of happiness so in order to get the human they are consuming happy, they put them in a dream like state where they live out their biggest wish. It is said that the victim will live in the dreamlike state for what feels like years, just like in dreams how time progresses differently.

I can't read anymore so I toss my phone onto the floor and try to fall asleep. My mind is whirling with too many thoughts to fall asleep so when I hear Dean mutter my name, I jump.

"Dean?" I whisper but there's no reply. I lie down again and try to calm myself when I hear Dean grunt from beside me. He rolls until he's practically on top of me and my eyes widen as I feel his erection press into my leg. His hips jerk slightly and I attempt to push him off of me but he's too heavy. He moans and I close my eyes and count to ten, hoping this will just be a nightmare. It isn't.

I bite my lip as his hips jerk forward again to stop a sound of my own. He stutters out my name and I can't stop the small whimper that escapes me. Why the hell did he insist that we just sleep in our boxers? He wanted me to be comfortable? Well the painful strain in my dick is not comfortable.

“Dean,” I say, my voice still a whisper because if I woke anyone up and they came in right now, this would be awkward to explain. He moans at my voice and I almost smile. Almost. His hips thrust forward again and I whimper, my hips grinding up slightly. I whimper again and his eyes blink open. By now I'm panting and have a very noticeable hard on.

"Cas?" he asks and I freeze, a whimper getting caught in my throat. His voice is breathless and throaty and wonderful. My eyes slide closed and I couldn't stop the slight rising of my hips if I tried. He grunts at the friction and before I know what's happening, his lips are on mine. His hands travel down to my hip bones and I moan at the feeling of his fingers digging into my skin.

"Dean," I stutter out and he groans and presses his hips foreword. I moan again as his erection rubs against mine and his mouth goes to my throat where he sucks until I'm pulling at his hair. He clamps a hand over my mouth and I nip at it slightly causing him to gasp.

"Cas, you gotta be quiet," he whispers and I nod, just wanting him to be touching me again. He grinds down onto me slowly and uses his free hand to rub at my nipple. My back arches and he bites my lip when I try to moan.

"Fuck, Dean," I moan into his mouth and he suddenly pulls away. He sits back on his knees and pulls the tight fabric of my boxers off. He puts a hand over my mouth and lowers his head to suck at the skin around my dick. l whimper into his hand as his mouth engulfs the tip of my dick. My hips arch up and his mouth slides down my length until he's taken in almost all of it. He pulls back slightly and swirls his tongue over my head. I moan into his hand and he pulls off completely.

"Cas, how far do you want to go? i don't want to pressure you or anything I just need to know so I know if I should, like, get my lube or whatever. Don't feel like I'm trying to put pressure on you to sleep with me or something but-" he rambles and l smile into his hand.

"Dean," l say, my voice muffled by his hand. He pulls it away and looks at me worriedly. "If you'll let me, I want to feel you arching underneath me as I fuck you," I say quietly and he bites his lip, a look of lust crossing his face.

"Oh fuck yes," he groans. He grabs a tube of what can only be lube from his dresser and hands it to me. I flip us over so that I'm on top and suck at his nipple a moment before he's whimpering under me.

l grab his legs and set them on my shoulders. I slick my fingers up and slowly press one at his entrance. He groans and I frown and pull my fingers away.

"You're a loud one, aren't you?" I ask and he flushes. "That's hot," I say before kissing him quickly. l grab my tie off of the floor and wrap it in a ball before shoving it in his mouth. Without warning I shove my index finger into his tight hole and pull it out in one fluid motion. I shove it in again and move it around until his back arches and he moans into my tie, indicating that I have found his prostate. I push at it again and watch him wither underneath me. Sure, I've never done this before but it doesn't mean that I haven't been fantasizing about it since meeting Dean.

l add another finger and continue adding fingers and scissoring him open until I have four fingers pumping in and out of him. I remove my hand and grab the tube of lube, covering my hard member in the slick substance and lining myself up at his entrance. I look up at him, making sure he was still okay with this. He nods feverishly and I slowly push in. Apparently I prepared him really well and this probably isn't his first time because I slide in really easily.

He moans into the fabric of my tie and I close my eyes, trying to keep quiet. The feeling of him around me is so overwhelming that I can't move for a minute. He jerks his hips slightly and take the hint and thrust into him.

I manage to stay quiet and the tie keeps Dean from getting too loud. My thrusts get faster and more erratic and with one last thrust into Dean's prostate he's shooting his seed onto our stomachs and I'm coming into him. I bite my lip so hard that I taste blood to keep from moaning. I collapse onto Dean and pull out of him, removing the blue tie from his mouth.

"God, Cas, you're sure you're a virgin?" he asks breathlessly and I chuckle.

"Not anymore," I say before falling asleep, not even bothering to clean up.

* * *

 

Dean's POV

The smile won't leave my face as Cas falls asleep on my chest. l gently roll him off of me and grab the roll of paper towels from the bathroom. I walk back over to Cas and wipe the drying come off of his chest. After I get him cleaned up I wipe myself off and climb back into the bed, pulling him back onto my chest. His arms wrap around me and I smile. Normally I'm not one for cuddling but with Cas, it just felt right.

* * *

l wake up to the sound of my alarm clock blaring Metallica and Cas on my chest. l nudge him gently, a smile on my face. He jumps slightly and his hazy blue eyes shoot up to mine, a smile spreading across his face.

"Hey Cas," l say and his smile widens into a full blown grin.

"Morning Dean," he says and quickly pecks at my lips, a shy smile crossing his face. l lean down and kiss him, slowly flipping us so that I have him pinned to the bed. I pull back slightly to breathe and he does his Cas laugh, his chest shaking slightly as his eyes light up with happiness.

"Dean, we need to get ready for school," Cas chides and I chuckle, kissing him again. I meant for it to be a quick kiss but once it's initiated, l can't seem to pull away, even when my door open and Sam sticks his head in.

"Dean, we need to- oh god," Sam says, slamming the door shut and I pull away from Cas, a laugh tearing from my throat. I collapse on the bed next to him, unable to will myself to get ready for school.

Cas pokes me until I groan and stand up, pulling a pair of boxers on. I hear him shuffling around behind me and I turn to face him. My eyes go down to his dick and I bite my lip. My eyes trail up to his sex hair and the thought that I'm the reason for it drives me crazy. I close my eyes to keep myself from doing something so I jump slightly when I feel a pair of warm hands on my neck.

A content humming sound starts in the back of my throat and I hear Cas chuckle but I can't seem to make myself care when his hands are slowly trailing down my arms and his body is pressed against mine. My eyes open in surprise as I feel Cas' leg press against my growing erection. A whimper escapes my lips and he slowly pushes me until I'm lying down on the bed, him on top of me.

He presses his knee to my rapidly hardening cock and I gasp, my head falling back in pleasure. My eyes slide shut and a small moan escapes me. He laughs before lowering his head to suck at my neck. My hips jerk up and I moan again. Before we can do anything else, there's a loud banging on the door.

"Boys! You better stop messing around! If you two are going to be late every morning, I'm making you sleep in separate rooms!" Ellen calls from outside the door and Cas grins. He rolls off of me and gets dressed, leaving me to breath deeply until my stubborn erection finally goes away. I stand up and pull my jeans on, glancing at Cas out of the corner of my eye. He has his pants on and is currently struggling with his white button up shirt. I chuckle and walk over so I'm standing in front of him. He looks up at me, a slight blush tinting his cheeks. I swat his hands away from the buttons and take them in my hands, quickly buttoning it up.

"So you wear this stuff yet you can't even button the shirt up properly?" I ask, a huge grin spreading across my face. He flushes and I laugh.

"I always had my sister do it," he defends, a slight blush creeping across his cheeks. I shake my head slightly and pull a tight fitted AC DC shirt on. I stretch, a yawn taking control of my body. I look over at Cas and the look on his face makes me grin. It looks like a mix of hunger, lust, and happiness. I walk to the door and yelp as a sharp pain shoots through my ass. I spin around so that I'm facing Cas.

"Did you just slap my ass?!" I cry and he smirks, stepping closer until his body is pressed against mine. He leans in so his lips are brushing against my ear before speaking.

"Maybe I did," he whispers and snakes one of his arms behind me, his hand suddenly squeezing my ass. I grumble happily and he lets go, heading out of the room. I close my eyes and count to ten before following him. This is going to be a long day.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Saving People, Humping Things**

Dean’s POV

I used to love gym class. It’s the only class I’m good at. I’m not smart but I can hit a kid with a dodge ball from 100 feet away and I can run a few laps without getting winded, but this? This was not gym class.

“Okay boys, partner up!” River calls and I immediately turn to face Cas. He smiles wickedly and licks his chapped lips, my eyes falling to them immediately. It seems like he notices me staring because he starts kneading his lower lip with his teeth and I can’t seem to pull my eyes off of it. Great, he’s in one of those moods.

“Dean! Cas! Stop flirting and get practicing!” River shouts and I turn bright red. I know she’s kidding but in reality she's right, we are flirting. Cas sighs and lies down on the floor, sprawling out like he fell down unconscious. He smiles flirtily at me again but all I can see is the strip of his torso that has been revealed as his too small gym shirt rides up.

“Come on, Dean. I’m dying here. I need you,” Cas says and I flush slightly again, noticing Cas’ wording. I kneel down next to him and hesitantly do as River had demonstrated a few seconds ago. I gently place two fingers under Cas’ chin and tilts his head back. Cas’ lips are parted slightly and I’m finding it hard not to lean over and kiss him. He’s close enough, just a few inches and-

“Dean! Bend down right next to his face and check to see his his chest is moving!” River scolds, a smirk on her face. If she were any other teacher I would hate her but I can’t quite get myself to be too mad at her.

I sigh and shove my ear right next to Cas’ lips and look down his body to see if his chest is rising and falling in the way that would mean he is breathing. I jerk away in surprise when I feels something warm and wet swipe across my ear.

“What the hell, Cas! Did you just lick me?!” I ask loudly and Cas’ chest heaves in his usual Cas laugh that isn’t quite a laugh. I glare at him until River scolds us yet again.

“Boys, don’t make me get Bobby,” River threatens and I roll my eyes. “Dean, you’ll never be able to do compressions like that. Straddle Cas,” River demands and horror shoots through me. Oh god.

I slowly climb onto him, trying to keep as much space between us as possible. River sighs and pushes me down onto him farther and Cas smiles slightly.I try to ignore the feel of his body under mine but it’s hard to concentrate.

“Do I really need to spell this out for you?” River asks. “Dean, hands on his chest and press lightly to the beat of Stayin’ Alive,” she says and I can feel a few eyes on us but I ignore them, focusing on the task in front of me. I slowly start doing compressions, trying to ignore how this is basicly me humping him. River glares at me and Cas smirks.

“Dean, to the damn beat!” River scolds and I swear, she's doing this on purpose.

“Yeah Dean, faster, harder,” Cas whispers and my face turns red but I do as the teacher instructs anyway. Cas’ eyes close and he bites his lip and I feel my breathing speeding up. River smirks before calling the attention of the class. I slide off of Cas who takes a second to regain his breath before sitting up. River can’t stop smirking and I can’t get my eyes to meet hers.

“Switch jobs!” River calls and my eyes widen in horror. Oh crap, this is going to suck. I lie down on the floor and watch as Cas seductively crawls onto me. His face is blank and lacking emotion but his blue eyes tell me everything I need to know. He’s not going to stop until I’m thoroughly embarrassed.

“Dean, you have to relax,” Cas says, his voice dripping with amusement. I flush and attempt to calm myself down. His hands trail up my body until they are pressing firmly onto my chest, just above my ribs.

He starts compressions and a wave of lust shoots through me. He puts his whole body into it, bouncing up and down and I can’t help but picture this with less clothes. My eyes slide closed and I bite at my lip to keep an embarrassing noise in.

The song soon ends and Cas climbs off. I shift my sitting position until my boner isn’t visible. Cas’ face is flushed and that just makes it even worse for me. River is talking but I can’t seem to focus on what she’s saying. All I can focus on is Cas's’ parted lips and his slightly heavy breathing.

“Dean?” Cas says and it is apparent that he’s said it a few times. I flush before he starts talking again. “We have to do the full body check. It seems you weren't really paying attention so I'll do you first. Lie down," he instructs and I comply.

He straddles me again, lower this time and rubs his hands over my face and down my neck, probably checking for any injuries. He checks my arms and my shoulders and suddenly gets a wicked grin. Oh god, this is going to be embarrassing. He brings his hands down to rest right where my nipple are and suddenly rubs at them. I bite my lip and my eyes slide closed as a wave of pleasure coursed through me. He moves his hands on and I whimper slightly at the loss of contact, causing him to chuckle.

He rubs my stomach and his hands go to my hip bones which he rubs at again. I bite my lip so hard I taste blood. He checks my legs and before I know what's happening, his hands are brushing against my dick and I'm whimpering and suddenly his hands are gone and I look up at him and he's smirking. I glare and again reposition myself.

"Okay, switch!" River yells and I rub my hands all over him, doing what he did to me, paying extra attention to the places that make him squirm. By the time I'm finished, his bottom lip is swollen from him biting it and his face is flushed. I smirk at the look and ignore what it does to me.

“Okay, come up and grab a pair of gloves and a breath sheet for the next step,” River calls and me and Cas grab the needed materials. We head back to our spot and I lay down on the ground, letting him show me what to do since I was too distracted by looking at him during instructions.

He slowly climbs onto me so that he’s straddling me and I bite my lip as he pulls on the rubber gloves. Good god, thats sexy. It reminds me of a scene on Doctor Sexy M.D.

Cas, being the fucking tease he is, grinds his hips into me slightly to get my attention. My mouth falls open into an O and he smirks. He leans in close and tilts my head back with two fingers. I whimper slightly and his grin widens. He slowly pulls my mouth further open until its completely spread and sticks a finger in. I jerk in surprise but he holds me still with his body. I suck at his finger, causing his eyes to flutter closed. I bring it further into my mouth and then pull my mouth off, gently scraping my teeth down it. He whimpers and I grin before letting him pull his finger out of my mouth.

He glances at the sheet of plastic and cotton that he’s supposed to use for the mouth to mouth resuscitation practice and looks away from it. He looks back at me and grins. Before I can protest, his mouth is on mine. It starts innocently, his lips just pressed gently against mine but soon his tongue trails slightly across my bottom lip and I pull away. Cas flushes and does a few compressions before leaning back down to kiss me again. He pulls away again and this time, he’s panting and that alone does some things to me that I hate to admit.

“Uh, Winchester? Novak? Maybe you two should go, uh, get fixed up in the washroom,” River says, a knowing smirk on her face. I blush and nod and Cas is suddenly standing up and pulling me to my feet. River smiles and lean in close to Cas before whispering. His cheeks turn a bright red and he thanks her before dragging me to the locker room. I can’t help but notice that by now the entire class is silent and watching us. Before I can say anything though, me and Cas are in the locker room and he's slamming me to the wall and sucking at my neck.

“J-Jesus, Cas. What the hell did River say in order to make you jump me like this?” I question, only half joking. I really wanna know what she told him. I feel his smirk in the crook of my neck and he pulls back slightly, dragging his teasing mouth up until it’s resting against my ear, barely touching me. I shiver as he breathes out, his hot breath spreading across my ear.

“She said they keep lube in the locker room because it works really well on blisters or something,” he says and suddenly his teeth are gently pulling at my earlobe and my knees are getting weak and I’m slipping to the ground. Before I can fall fully, he's holding me up with his hips and pulling my t-shirt over my head. I groan as his hands go to my back and his stubby, bitten nails dig into my skin, leaving marks.

His lips enclose around my nipple and he sucks at it, scraping with his teeth lightly. I groan loudly and throw my head back, hitting it against the wall. The pain makes it feel even better and my hips jerk foreword, into his hips. He groans onto my nipple and his body arches into mine. He pulls away from my nipple and I take the chance to pull his shirt over his head. The feeling of his bare chest pressed against mine makes me groan loudly and I’m rewarded when his hips jerk forward and he moans.

His hands are suddenly sliding down my chest to my crotch where he pulls down my shorts until they are at my ankles along with my underwear and he sinks down to his knees. I groan in anticipation and wait for his warm mouth to engulf me. Apparently, he’s still in a teasing mood because he doesn't take all of me into his mouth, instead licking a stripe from my base to my tip. I pant and look down at him, loving the sight of him, his glorious tongue working at me and his eyes wide with lust.

He looks up at me, his eyes meeting mine and he grins, taking the tip of my dick into his mouth and sucking. My eyes close and my head hits the wall again as I groan loudly. He slides off of my dick only to completely engulf me, taking my entire length into his mouth. I whimper, shocked that he can even do that. I mean, shouldn’t the guy have a gag reflex or something?

All thoughts are pushed out of my head as his teeth gently scrape up my dick. My hips jerk forward and he pulls off of me again. He kisses my abdomen right above my dick and I bite my lip, trying to keep the noises I'm dying to make in. He stands up and pulls down his gym shorts and I suck in a deep breath when I realize that he has no underwear on.

"In the wash," he explains before kissing me again.

* * *

River grins as her surroundings shift into the real world. The blue tattoos that run all over her body are finally revealed as she steps out of the angel's mind. She slipped up once, one of the hunters had stabbed her and she let the illusion slip for moments and the man had started getting suspicious. She had to amp up his hormones, making him act out of character. Having sex in the locker room at school? Never. But now he had no qualms, and her plan was working. Keep him in this state for the rest of eternity, never having to risk finding another victim, the angel never dying, just being a never ending power source. She just has to kill those hunters first.

* * *

That night Castiel has the nightmare again but this time all he can see is a pair of familiar green eyes, stained red from crying. He wants to reach a hand out and wipe away his tears but he can't seem to move his body. The older version of Dean tries to get him to stay awake, just do anything except leave him, but he can't. It's as if his mind is being forcefully dragged from this reality.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Cas’ POV

School is a blur. I can’t focus on anything; everything just feels wrong. Dean kept shooting me worried looks and it made me feel even worse, especially because every time I looked at him, all I could picture where the haunting green eyes surrounded by puffy red skin and filled with tears, the worry in them clear. I couldn’t escape them, every time I close my eyes they are there, staring into my soul.

It seems like mere minutes before I’m standing in the gym, a dodge ball flying at my face. I don’t have time to react before the rubber ball is smacking into my face and I’m falling onto my ass. I just lie there, not reacting to anything, even as I feel Dean pull my head onto his lap. He looks at me, worry clear on his face and for a horrifying moment i'm back in the nightmare and he’s screaming for me to wake up, his crying eyes looming over me.

I scramble frantically away from him until my back hits something solid and I look up and see River, her face covered in blue tattoos. I scramble away from her too, squeezing my eyes shut. This isn’t real. I don’t know how or why but none of this is real. I need to wake up and get to Dean, the real Dean, the older, sadder version of the boy I thought I loved. I’m not sure exactly when, but I start screaming Dean’s name and I can’t seem to stop even when I hear him yelling back, feel his hands on my wrists, attempting to stop me from flailing.

“Cas! Cas, calm down! Sam! Help!” he yells and there are hands on my ankles, holding them steady.

“Cas, come on. Look at me, Cas. It’s me, it’s Dean. Calm down, Cas, calm down. I need you to open your eyes,” Dean says, his calm voice laced with panic. I react to his voice without even thinking about it. My body calms and the grip on my wrists loosen slightly and suddenly I’m speaking without thinking about it.

“Dean?” I squeak, my voice rough and broken from misuse and screaming.

“I’m here, Cas. I’m here, don’t worry,” Dean says, relief clear in his voice. Suddenly, his arms are around me and I’m sobbing into his shoulder. He shushes me and we sit like that until I fall asleep.

* * *

I wake up wrapped in warm arms with fuzzy red numbers in front of my face. The crappy clock reads 1:27 PM and I jump up and curse. I’m late. Again. I look around the unfamiliar room and jump when I see an unfamiliar man with long hair and sideburns that appear to be attempting to engulf his face. The man looks torn between reaching for a weapon or hugging me.

“Cas? Hey, uh, maybe you should sit down,” he says, his voice like one of a person trying to calm down a wild animal. I stare at him, wanting to reach for a weapon but not knowing where one would be.

“Who the hell are you? Where the hell am I?” I question and I can’t explain the look on his face, a mix of worry, shock, and sadness.

“I’m Sam. Like I said, maybe you should sit down,” he suggests, edging forward into the room. Panic starts to edge at me and my eyes widen as I starts hyperventilating. I back up until I run into something. I’m not even sure what I ran into but it doesn’t matter as waves of memories crash over me. I can’t stop the screams as the horrible memories start flooding back to me. Horrible memories from millions of years ago flood me along with new ones like me saving Dean and slowly falling for him. I didn’t know it at the time but after everything I just experienced, there is no doubt.

I can feel the tears streaming down my face but I’m powerless to stop it especially as Dean’s arms wrap around me. All I can think of is how Dean is the kind of guy who has a new woman over every night and how he would never love me. I know it’s wrong but a desperate want to find the Djinn and go back to the world where Dean loved me.

At some point the tears stop and I’m just sitting in Dean’s embrace. I memorize his smell and the feel of his arms around me because I know that it won’t happen again. Neither one of us moves to break our hold and at some point my exhaustion takes over and I slip off to sleep.

__________________________________________________________________

*While Cas is asleep*

“Dean, we have to go after her now,” Sam demands. Dean glares at him and angrily rubs a hand through his hair.

“No Sam! You don’t understand. The SOB can do whatever the hell she wants, I just need to help Cas right now, okay?” Dean says and Sam angrily fluffs his hair and storms away. Dean looks down at the sleeping form of the angel who he can no longer deny his attraction for and a single tear leaks from his eye.

* * *

I wake up to an empty bed and I can’t stop the emptiness that wells up in the pit of my stomach. The feeling is replaced with confusion as I realize that I am naked other than a pair of white boxers. I flush at the thought of Dean undressing me and push it out of my head. I look around the room until I find my clothes in a neat pile, set on a coffee table. I pull them on and glance in the mirror.

I look like a mess. My hair is disheveled and my eyes are red and puffy from crying. I run a hand over my face and through my hair, attempting to tame it. It gets even worse and I give up.

I look at myself again for a few seconds before I realize what’s missing. My coat. I look around the room again before sighing and walking to the door. I look outside and see Sam sitting in the Impala, a salad in his hands.

I walk over to him and a look of sadness and worry crosses his face when he sees me. I lean down to the window so I’m at eye level with him.

“Hello Sam. Do you know where my coat is?” I ask, unable to shake the feeling that something isn’t right without my coat. Sam nods and chews before replying.

“Dean has it in the laundry room,” Sam says, pointing to a small building with a sign that says ‘Wash, Dry, Fold”. I walk away without saying anything else and head to the laundry room.

I freeze in the doorway as I take in the sight before me. Dean is sitting on his knees in front of a huge bucket of soapy water, my dirty coat clutched in his white hands and bloody fingers. He doesn’t seem to notice me because he keeps scrubbing at it almost angrily. His hands are messy, covered in blood and wrinkly from the water. He lets out an angry sound and scrubs at at least ten times the speed he was a moment ago. His hand suddenly stops and he lets out an exasperated sigh, dropping his head onto the wet fabric.

I clear my throat and Dean jumps, his eyes full of horror and guilt as he takes me in. He stands up, his knees weak for a moment and I wonder just know long he’s been kneeling for.

“Cas, I was just-” I shush him by stepping forward. I gently place my fingertips on his palms, slowly dragging them to his fingertips, feeling the flesh knitting itself back together under my fingers. The coat cleans itself and my eyes suddenly catch Dean’s. My breath catches in my throat and I nervously bite my lip. It feels like we’ve been staring at each other for hours when someone clears their throat from the door and we jump apart.

“Uh, sorry for interrupting, but I just was going to tell you that Garth said he will help me with the Djinn case so you can help your boyfriend heal or whatever,” Sam says and Dean glares at him.

“Yeah, whatever, go off with Garth. I don’t care. Come on, Cas, lets go get burgers,” Dean says, his anger at Sam for not wanting to help me clear in his voice. He grabs my hand and I almost jerk away when a spark makes my hand go numb. He drags me out of the laundry room, not cleaning the bucket of bloody water.

We reach the Impala and he turns me so that I’m facing him. He looks me up and down and I nibble on my lip nervously. His face lights up and he holds up the coat and my arm twitches to grab it but I'm too slow. He's swinging it behind me and pulling it so that I can slide my arms in. I normally wouldn't let him dress me but because of the look on his face.

He finished putting my coat on and runs his hands down my body, smoothing out the sides. I shift nervously, remembering his hands rubbing me like that but with less clothing.

He pulls back and clears his throat, rubbing a hand through his hair.

"Uh, let's go get burgers," he says and gets into his dark car. I beath deeply before getting in next to him.

He looks at me oddly while I close the door.

"Cas? Are you feeling okay? I mean, like your angelic mojo or whatever? You've been acting really... human since you woke up," Dean says and I flinch. I really don't want to talk about this with him.

"I'm fine, Dean," I say, hoping he will just drop the subject. Knowing Dean he doesn't like to talk about his feelings so hopefully this won't be different.

"Cas..." he says and stares at the back of my head while I look out the window.

"Drop it, Dean," I say, my voice filled with more anger than I intended. I hear him sigh and start the car, pulling out of the parking lot.

I close my eyes and inhale deeply.

* * *

It hurts. In my chest. A deep pain that isn't physical. I bite my lip hard enough to taste blood. We're at a small burger shop just like the time Dean had tried to find me a girlfriend and he's flirting with the waitress again.

"So, are you as sweet as the pie?" he asks and I mentally gag. She smiles and twirls a stand of her bouncy blonde hair around one of her slim fingers.

"Hmm, maybe you should find out," she says, a girlish giggle escaping her. Hatred boils up in my stomach and I push it down, breathing deeply.

"Mmm, sounds nice," Dean starts, his eyes suddenly meet mine asks his smile fades. I glance away and he turns back to the blonde bitch. "Uh, never mind. Just get me a double bacon cheeseburger and a chocolate shake," he says and I flinch again. Basically the same order from last time. The waitress turns to me with a disappointed look on her face.

"I'll take a double bacon cheeseburger too," I say and Dean's eyebrows shoot up. I glare at him and confusion crosses his face. I sigh as I remember that it's not his fault. It's mine for desiring something unattainable, someone who will never love me back.

The waitress leaves and I stare out the window, feeling Dean's eyes burning onto my face.

"Cas. What the hell happened? I've been under a Djinn spell before, I know just how much they can mess a person up. Talk to me," he says and that's all I want to do. I want to tell him everything, confess my love for him, tell him that I hate how I'll never get him. But I can't. I know it won't end well. That he'll hate me.

"I don't want to talk about it, Dean," I say. He sighs angrily and ruffles his hair. l bite my lip at how attractive it is.

"Fine. Whatever. Sorry for asking," he says right as our food arrives. We eat in silence, me on the verge of crying the entire time.


	12. Chapter 12

Cas’s POV

I wake up screaming. In my dream I was with Dean, the one who actually loved me back. We were at the beach, on a date, swimming and enjoying each others company. Out of no where, the sky turns dark along with Dean’s face. I back away from him, the water disappearing and my back hitting a cold, metal wall.

“Cas, what the hell? You chose him over me? He doesn’t even want you, much less love you. We had a future. We still could. Cas, it’s not over. I’m still here, waiting for you. Please, Cas, I love you. You have to come back to me,” he says, his eyes sad and pleading with me. I go to reply but I can’t open my mouth and my throat is dry. His face turns angry and he inches closer to me. I try to back up but by now I’m pressed against the wall.

He opens his mouth again but I’m being shaken awake, my screams still echoing through the room as I thrash around in Dean’s grip. My eyes open wide as my body calms and I sink into the bed. Dean sighs in relief until I start crying. Panic washes over his face again and I couldn’t care less. Dean’s words keep floating through my head, “He doesn’t even love you.”

“Cas, come on man. Shh, stop crying. If you don’t tell me what happened, I can’t fix it,” he says but I just shake out of his grip. I sit up and lean against the headboard, my knees curled to my chest. Dean looks at me with sadness in his face as I sob silently into my knees. I know it's odd for a grown man to do, but as I said, I feel more like a teenaged boy than an all powerful million year old angel.

Dean sits on the floor at my feet and looks up at me, his green eyes shining.

"Cas, just tell me what you saw. Seeing you like this is killing me inside," he pleas and my throat dries up. I want nothing more than to tell him, have him say he understands and he loves me but I know that that isn't what would happen.

"We were normal. We were in high school and there were no angels or demons or anything like that. You and Sam were happy and Ellen and Bobby were alive and married. I was actually getting to experience something relatively normal. I was going to school, making friends, dating. It was perfect," I say, my throat dry and scratchy. His eyes burn my face but I can't get myself to look at him, instead I drop my face into my knees.

“Dating? Was it somebody we know? I mean, I could always help you get out there if you wanted to. I know plenty of people who would pay to get to know you better," he says and I wince. I can't date anyone else, asshole, I'm in love with you.

"No, Dean. I can't," I say, hoping he will drop it. I don't even know why I said it. It just felt so good to tell him.

“Cas? Theres one thing I don’t understand. Why are you this upset? This life isn’t great, but it’s not completely terrible, right? I'm not so big of an ass that you'd rather be in the fake world, right?" Dean says and I attempt to shrug nonchalantly but I end up sobbing again because in truth, I don't really know. I feel the bed dip in front of me and he’s pulling me so that I’m looking at him. It reminds me of the bathroom at the mall and I start sobbing.

"You won't try to find the Djinn, will you?" Dean asks and I don't respond. He shakes me lightly, "Cas."

"What, Dean?!  You want me to make promises I can't keep?! You want me to live in a world where no one loves me?! You want me to spill my guts to you and have you hate me?! Because I wont! I can't promise I won't go after the Djinn because living in this world might kill me anyway!" I scream, pushing him away from me again. He stumbles off the bed surprised and I feel myself starting to sob again. "I can't do it," I whisper.

"Cas," Dean says sadly. "Just tell me. Nothing could make me hate you. Just tell me what happened," Dean says, his voice soft as he climbs onto the bed next to me. He doesn't touch me, careful to give me my space but having him near is comforting.

"I can't," I say. He sighs quietly.

"Cas, I swear. If it creeps me out or whatever, you have my full permission to go into my brain and make it like you never told me. I will never give that permission to anyone else," Dean says and I lift my head to look at him.

He has a dead serious look on his face and I close my eyes and breath deeply, trying to summon the courage to tell him. I reach my hands up to his temples and let my memories flow through my fingers and into his mind.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

It's hard. I have to relive the memories as he sees them and it almost kills me, seeing how happy we were. When they are done I remove my hands with shaking fingers. I can look at him so I keep my eyes closed, like they have been this entire time. He's silent for a moment before talking.

"I, uh, I have to go," he says and gets up slowly. I don't move, just silently sob as he walks out. Once he's gone I start crying.

* * *

(Deans POV)

"I, uh, I have to go," I say and get up slowly. I look at him as I walk away, unable to get his emotions out of my head. Everything he felt while he was dreaming still flowing through my head.

I walk out of the room and sit down outside of the door, my head in my hands. I just saw me through his eyes, felt everything he felt. It made me want to puke. I in no way deserve all the love he feels toward me.

I don't realize I'm crying until a sob escapes me. I know he can hear me, being a celestial being and all, but I can't seem to make myself care. I sob until I'm out of tears. Then I stand up, wipe my face, and take a deep breath.

I stand there a moment before opening the door and walking in. I look for Cas but he's no where in sight. Disappointment courses through me before panic takes over. What if he went to find the Djinn?

"Cas? Cas, come on. I need to talk to you. Cas," I say. "Please."

Not a moment after I say the words do I notice that the bathroom door is open. I look at the door and walk over, hoping to find Cas. My heart drops as I see the red eyed, heartbroken remains of the all powerful angel I once knew, sobbing in the bathtub.

He's curled up into a ball and I lean down, gripping his shoulders firmly. "Cas, I need to talk to you," I say as I pull Cas up into a sitting position. The hollow look in his eyes and the way he does everything I say without hesitation is worrying.

"Come on," I say and lift him up. Cas follows obediently but doesn't move to support himself onces he's up. I grunt and wrap an arm around his waist and practically carry him to the bed. I set him down and sit down next to him. I go to say something but he cuts me off.

"I don't have enough power to erase your memories right now but if you just give me-" he starts but I cut him off by pressing my lips to his chastely. Cas' eyes flutter closed and I deepen the kiss, tuning so I'm sitting facing him on his lap. I run my tongue across the seam of his lips and grab his shoulders.

"Dean," he groans and I whimper, loving the sound. I use the opportunity to get my tongue into his mouth  and he wraps his fingers into my hair. I groan and break the kiss moving to suck a hickey onto his neck.

He groans and pushes his hips up, making me close my eyes and attempt to concentrate on sucking his neck. I pull back with a yelp when the phone rings. Can groans.

"Don't stop," he mumbles. I bite my lip, really wanting to continue but needing to answer the phone.

"It could be Sam," I say before grabbing the phone. "Hello?" I say, aware that my voice is rough.

"Dean? It Garth. Sam said to call if anything happened and he kind of hasn't showed back up. He said he'd be back soon," Garth says, panic in his voice.

"Okay, calm down Garth. Where did he go?" I say.

"Oh, never mind. He's back. He just went to get coffee," Garth says. I roll my eyes.

"Goodbye, Garth," I growl, angry for being interrupted over nothing.

I hang up and close my eyes.

"Who was that?" Cas asks.

"Garth," I answer. "Cas, we need to talk about this. About us."

Cas bites his lip and nods. I get off his lap and collapse next to him. I close my eyes and count to ten, trying to calm myself down.

"Cas, I'm not gay. I've never been attracted to guys. That being said, I'm attracted to you. I've never felt so strongly about someone who wasn't family. Seeing you, under the Djinn spell... it made me realize that if anything ever happened to you, I'd die. I... I think I love you, Cas," I admit, never being good at discussing my feelings. My eyes are closed because I wouldn't be able to tell him this if I could see him.

"You know how I feel, Dean," Cas says quietly. I bite my lip before talking again.

"C-can you say it?" I ask, my voice a borderline whisper. There is silence and I brace myself for the worst.

"I love you, Dean," Cas says quietly. Relief washes through me and I smile.

"So what now?" I whisper.

"We could always start where we left off," Cas suggests, and I bite my lip, blushing. I open my eyes and turn to look at him.

"Can we... wait a little while?" I ask, my blush deepening. Normally I'm the first to jump into bed, but with Cas, I don't want to rush it.

"Of course, Dean," Cas says. "We could watch a movie." I grin and hop up.

"We can go to the theater. I haven't been in ages," I say happily. He smiles at my excitement.

"That's not what I had in mind but it sounds very fun. I'd love to go out to a movie with you," Cas says with an honest to god smile. I freeze staring at it. His smile drops.

"Did I say something wrong?" He asks worriedly.

"No, it's just... When did you learn to smile?" I ask, still surprised. He blushes and shrugs, another thing I'm not used to seeing on him.

"Can we go now?" He says, his voice embarrassed. I nod and grab my keys.

We get in the car, a goofy grin on my face. We get out of the car and I look at him before hesitantly taking his hand. He smiles and squeezes my hand back. We walk in and look at the movies. There's a horror movie starting In five minutes but nothing else is playing for at least an hour.

"Can we see the scary one?" Cas asks and I nod, buying two tickets. We head into the theater, getting two seats in the back row. We sit there holding hands until the movie starts. Cas squeezes my hand tightly the first part of the movie until I realize how terrified he is.

"Cas?" I ask softly. He doesn't respond so I just pull him into a hug.

"Thank you," he whispers and pushes his face into my neck. I hold him tightly.

"Do you want to leave?" I whisper. He shakes his head no and stays cuddled up to me. When the movie ends, I pull him put to the car.

"We should do this again. It was fun," I say nervously. Cas grins and takes my hand in silent agreement. We hold hands all the way back.


	14. Chapter 14

Cas’ POV

You know how sometimes people have different personalities depending on who they are around? Yeah, Dean is a prime example of that. Things were amazing while Sam was gone, perfect even.

We would go out and he’d show me all these human things that I’d never done before. We went to bars and amusement parks, we ate amazing pizza and told crappy jokes. I’d wake up screaming with nightmares and he would be there to pull me into his arms and tell me it was alright until I stopped crying.

Until one morning he wasn’t. I woke up screaming again, immediately searching for the warmth that Dean usually provided only to find his half of the bed empty. Nervousness settles into my stomach and I panic, standing and quickly pulling on my clothes, messing the buttons up and not bothering to try to get the tie straight. I don’t bother with my hair, I know it’s messy but finding Dean is more important at the moment.

I pull on my coat and speed out the door, still not using my transportation abilities. It still felt weird, I still felt too human.

The Impala isn’t sitting in the lot. That makes me just as nervous as it sooths me. On one hand, that lessens the chance of him being taken against his will, but it also means that he is far enough away that he didn’t walk and it will be harder to find him.

I close my eyes and concentrate on thoughts of Dean. I should be able to sense where he is. He does bear my mark. And he’s gotten closer to me than humans ever get to angels. I suppress my nervousness and focus on finding him.

When I open my eyes I’m outside a diner. I feel slightly woozy at my teleportation, not as powerful as I used to be. I rest on the wall for support a moment before standing straight and walking into the diner. I look around a moment before I spot Dean at a table in the corner. He appears to be alone so I walk over, ignoring the waitress who keeps trying to seat me.

He doesn’t notice me until I’m standing at the table. His green eyes flash up to mine and he winces. Sure, I knew I look like shit, but that pretty much confirms it.

“You left,” I say, my tone carefully neutral. Regret quickly flashes across before it’s replaced with his usual look of cocky confidence. It’s one I haven’t seen since I woke up and I did not miss it.

“Hey Cas,” he says. “Sorry, Sam showed up and I thought it’d be better to let you sleep.” No, it would have been better to wake me up so I didn’t wake up alone, screaming. Of course, I don’t say any of that out loud. I just nod and slide into the booth next to him, nodding a hello to Sam.

“Hey Cas,” he says as I press closer to Dean. Dean clears his throat and moves away from me. The feeling that settles in my gut is worse than if he had hit me. I know that a flicker of emotion crosses my face and I quickly push it away. Sam looks between the two of us as if he’s trying to solve a puzzle. I don’t like it.

“Did the hunt go well?” I ask suddenly. His eyes search my face a moment as is he’s still trying to understand something that’s right out of reach. We stare at each other a moment before he sighs and looks away.

“No. Garth got a concussion while he was out getting dinner. We didn’t catch the bastard,” he says. “It didn’t help that we didn’t have a description or name either,” he adds, shooting a pointed look at Dean.

Dean glares at him. “Cas had a pretty messed up dream. I didn’t want to make him have to remember any of it,” he says and my heart sinks. Messed up. Yeah, sure. I guess that’s a word for it. A normal life with somebody you love, totally a messed up dream. I pointedly refuse to look at Dean, turning my attention to Sam.

“In my dream she was a gym teacher named River Jones. She wore clothes that were kind of hippy like and she was really nice,” I say. “Her hair was frizzy curls and she was constantly calling people sweetie. Although this was only in my ‘messed up’ dream so it might not be what she or he actually looks at,” I add, glaring at Dean as I say messed up. He looks away quickly, not meeting my eyes. I look back at Sam who looks confused again.

“Thanks, at least it’s somewhere to start. So what have you guys been doing while I was gone?” Sam asks, his tone almost like he already knows the answer and just wants to hear someone confirm it.

Before I can reply, Dean is talking. “Not much. Just trying to help Cas get over everything that happened in his dream.” Anger wells up under my breastbone at the comment and I stand up, trying not to let my anger show.

“I’ll let you two catch up. I think I’ll just go back to the motel so I can sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well lately,” I say. Sam looks at me almost sadly. “Goodbye Sam,” I say, ignoring Dean. And then I teleport away.

I make it back to the motel me and Dean have been staying at and all my anger vanishes. I feel sick from extended use of my powers and I pretty much collapse onto the bed me and Dean have been sharing. The smell of him engulfs me and I fall asleep almost instantly.


	15. Chapter 15

“Cas. Hey, Cas, wake up,” someone says, poking me gently. I groan and roll away from the poking, not ready to wake up. “Cas,” they say again, poking me harder. I sigh and peak one eye open, my mind starting to clear as I remember how much of an asshole Dean, who is standing there and poking me awake, was yesterday. I close my eyes again, choosing to ignore him

“Cas, wake up,” Dean says, annoyance leaking into his voice. That just makes me angrier because what right does he have to be angry? I open my eyes and glare at him as I stand up. I don’t bother trying to fix my clothes or hair, just glare at him.

“What, Dean? What could you possibly want from me?” I ask, not bothering to hide the anger in my tone. Regret flashes through his eyes but it does nothing to disperse my anger.

“I wanted to apologize,” Dean says, his face hardening. It makes me even angrier that he thinks he has any right to be angry with me.

“For what, Dean?” I ask. Maybe I could forgive him if he’d admit what he did and never do it again, but knowing Dean he’s probably too stubborn for that. I cross my arms as I look at him, waiting for his apology.

Dean doesn’t respond, just steps closer and reaches a hand as if to touch my cheek. I step back and push his hand away, looking at him angrily. Regret sweeps across his face again but Dean, the ass he is, pushes it away and glares at me.

“What is your problem, Cas?” he asks. I want to punch him. I need to punch him. My hand tightens into a fist and my jaw clenches but I manage to calm myself down enough not to hit him, even though my hand stays balled up into a fist so tight my fingers are white.

“You are my problem,” I say, my voice strained as I try not to do something I’d regret. He steps forward again and this time I don’t back up, not wanting him to think I’m submitting to him. There’s only a few inches between us and we are both angry enough to start throwing punches.

“What? Why am I your problem?” he practically spits, moving even closer until I can feel his breath on my face. His expression is contorted with anger and I want to hit him again. My breath is coming out in pants and I can’t stop the urge to kiss him that washes through me. My eyes flick down to his lips but I manage to push it down to talk.

“Because, Dean,” I say, my voice dripping with hatred on his name. “I cared about you. Now I realize that you are just an asshole and I hate you.” I know the words are probably too harsh but at the moment, it’s exactly how I feel. And I have to right to. Dean is being a dickwad.

Dean’s eyes are the most expressive part of him, there is no doubt about that. As soon as I say I hate him, pain flashes through them, followed by anger.

“You know what? I hate you too,” he spits and I swallow my hurt, focusing on my anger. This time I can’t stop it as I grab his shirt and pull him into an angry kiss.

Dean kisses back just as madly, pulling me up against him by my hips. I bring one of my hands behind his head, tangling my fingers in his hair and biting his bottom lip a bit too hard, almost drawing blood.

He moans and the sound drives me crazy. I pull back slightly and push him down onto the bed, crawling up so I’m straddling him. I lean down and tangle my hands in his hair again, pulling him head back so I can get at his neck. I know it’ll make him mad, so I suck a hickey into his skin, biting after I finish.

He gasps and pushes his hips up into mine. I moan and grind down onto him, unable to stop myself. We both moan again and I start to work on leaving another dark mark on his pale neck while grinding my hips down onto his. I finish another mark and pull back to look at the three marks.

Apparently Dean doesn’t like that I stopped because he pushes his hips up and whines. “Cas, please,” he begs, rolling his hips up in an attempt to get some friction. I growl and use some of my inhuman strength to stop him with my hips. He whines again and closes his eyes tightly, pushing his head back onto the bed.

“Please what?” I ask, making sure that my voice still shows my anger. He whimpers and tries to move his hips again.

“I don’t know, Cas. Just… please do something,” he begs again, hands grabbing the sheets and holding them tightly. I laugh dryly, knowing that he’s probably going to regret this in the morning. I mean, we’ve never had sex. Well, he’s never had sex with me and Dean seems like the kind of guy who would refuse to bottom even if it would kill him not to. And this is not at all how I want our first time together to be.

“Anything?” I ask, too angry to care if we’ll regret this. He nods, eyes still closed and I laugh again, this time borderline evil. “Oh, Dean, you are going to regret this,” I say, making my voice deep and hopefully seductive. He groans at the sound so I assume that it worked.

Before he can change his mind about anything, I use some of my powers to make a tube of lube appear. It was simple enough that it only made me dizzy for a second before I’m okay again. His eyes open slightly after a second of me not doing anything to him as I cover my fingers in the slick substance.

“Please tell me that you aren’t planning what I think you’re planning,” Dean says, worry edging into his voice. I just shake my head slightly and crawl off of him.

“Take your clothes off. Now,” I demand, using my un-lubed hand to mess with the button on my pants until I get it to pop open and my zipper down. I glance at Dean who has done as he was told and is watching me with no clothes on. I can’t help but look him up and down a few times, taking him in in his naked glory. I step out of my pants and decide that it’s too much hassle to undress like this so I just poof my clothes away.

“On the bed on your hands and knees,” I command, suppressing a smirk as he does exactly as I say. The anger is still there but I’ve managed to push it down, knowing that I’ll be able to vent it out in a few moments. He whines impatiently and I roll my eyes before crawling onto the bed behind him.

I push my anger down so I can say, “Dean, tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” I wait for a nod from him before letting my anger rush back to me. As an angel, I got good at controlling my emotions. Well, suppressing them for short times.

I reach my clean hand around him and teasingly start to rub at him, drawing a shattered moan from his lips. I know I’m being a jerk, not giving him nearly enough for it to be satisfying, but I think he deserves it. He bites his lip, looking like he’s decided that he won’t make a sound. That is not going to work for me.

I take my slick hand and brush one of my fingers through the crack of his ass, putting the slightest amount of pressure on his hole. He gasps and tries to push back onto my hand but I pull away, still wanting him to suffer. I mean, he already ‘hates me’ so what harm can it do?

“Cas, please,” he begs, voice strained like saying it is causing him physical pain. I laugh dryly, doing it again but not giving him any more than I did last time. He clenches both hands into fists and grabs the sheets tightly.

“F-Fuck, Cas, please,” he whines, yes whines. The great Dean Winchester reduces to whining and begging for me to fuck him. I laugh again, running my finger through his ass again, pausing to gently circle his hole.

He makes a high pitched moaning sound and tries to push back onto me again. I let him this time, quickly, maybe a little too quickly, shoving my finger in until I reach the first knuckle. He yelps in pain and tenses around my finger.

“Calm the fuck down. Relax,” I say, annoyance leaking into my voice. I know it’s a crappy thing to get mad over, tensing up on the first time he gets something shoved up his ass, but I’m still completely pissed at him for everything that’s happened.

After a few seconds of me not moving, he finally manages to relax enough that I can shove more of my finger in too quickly and he yelps and tenses again. We continue on like that, him relaxing enough that I can shove more of my fingers into him too fast and waiting for him to relax so I can do it again.

Once I deem him loose enough, four fingers angrily pumping in and out of him quickly, I pull my hand back, enjoying Dean’s whimper.

I grab the thing of lube and pour some in my hand, slicking up my dick and positioning myself at his entrance. I put some pressure on it, not enough to start to slide in, just enough to drive him crazy.

He whines and tries to push back onto me. I let him, slowly pushing the tip in, giving him time to tell me to stop if he wants to. He just moans and pushes back further, causing me to get a bit worked up and push into him a bit too quickly. He yelps, hands clenching tighter into the sheets.

“C-Cas,” he chokes out, his voice strained. If I wasn’t so pissed, I would apologize and pause, giving him time to adjust. As it is, I just start moving, going at about medium speed and grunting in pleasure at the feeling of how tight he is. He moans loudly, a drawn out, long noise. The sound drives me crazy and I grunt, speeding up. I’m not gentle in the slightest, thrusting in and out deep and quick.

He keeps moaning, gasping, whining, and begging as I fuck him, his entire body shaking. At some point I hear a loud tearing noise as the sheets he is gripping shred and I speed up, nearing my climax. Dean jerks under me, screaming my name as he comes. The mixture of him tightening around me and screaming my name causes me to come, not pulling out and thrusting through it, until I’m gasping for breath and collapsing next to him.

He pants, his face buried in the pillow. His arms gave out under him so he’s just lying face down and ass in the air, body twitching.

“Dean? Are you okay?” I ask, my anger gone and replaced with worry. He doesn’t move much, just tilts his head so he’s facing me. His eyes meet mine and a shiver shoots through my body.

He tries to say something but it comes out more of a jumbled mess of syllables. He closes his eyes a moment and breathes deeply before saying, “Y-Yeah. That was…”                                                                             

I blush, keeping eye contact with him. “Good, I hope.”

“Fucking amazing,” Dean says, still breathless, a small smile forming on his face. I can’t stop the answering smile crosses my face. I sit up, gently reaching out to move him so he’s in a more comfortable position. I set him on his back as gently as I can, blushing as I feel his eyes watching my every move.

I clear my throat and lie back down next to him, looking back up at his face. He looks very serious and it makes my stomach flutter.

“Cas… I think… I think I’m in love with you,” he says, his face dead serious, causing my heart to leap. I swallow hard as I look at him.

“You don’t mean that,” I say, not wanting to get my hopes up. “You said you hate me.” I look away from him, feeling slightly sick to my stomach at the thought.

“Cas, look at me. I don’t hate you. I’m sorry I said that, and I’m sorry I was such an asshole yesterday. I just… I’m not good with emotions and I didn’t know how Sam would react and… I’m so sorry. Cas, I love you. I mean it. And you know that I rarely ever say that. The last time I said it, I think I was ten and Sam had just found out Santa isn’t real and was freaking out,” Dean says, trying to show me that he means it. I swallow, looking back into his eyes.

“You… You’re sure?” I ask hesitantly. He nods, no hint of doubt in his eyes.

“You don’t have to say it back, I just thought that I should tell you. I’m done hiding it,” Dean says, a look of determination on his face that makes me smile.

“I love you too, Dean,” I say honestly, looking him in the eyes. His green eyes light up with hope and he smiles.

“Really?” he asks and I grin, nodding happily. He smiles and I lean in and kiss him gently. He grins at me and I suddenly get hit with a bad thought that causes my smile to disappear.

“Are you going to tell Sam?” I ask, hoping that he’ll say yes. I can’t imagine having to pretend that none of this happened.

“Of course I am, Cas. I love you and Sam has to learn to accept that,” Dean says and I smile again, kissing him softly. He kisses back, pulling me close so that I’m lying right next to him, my body half over his. He breaks the kiss and smiles at me. The door opens and my eyes widen in horror as Sam walks in.

“Hey, Dean, thanks for leaving me with no car…” Sam starts, freezing as he spots us, naked and cuddling on the bed. Dean clears his throat awkwardly.

“Hey Sam,” he says, an awkward smile forming on his face. “I, uh… I love Cas.” Sam still is frozen in horror and worry wells up in my chest.

“Sam?” I ask hesitantly.

“I, uh… Good for finally admitting it!” he yells and practically runs out of the room. I blush and look at Dean, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks slightly embarrassed and slightly relieved.

“Well, he… took it okay,” Dean says, laughing slightly. I sigh in relief and nod, snuggling closer to him.

I laugh too, grinning. “That was… awkward.” He smiles and kisses the top of my head. I grin and yawn, unable to stop myself.

“You should sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up,” Dean says softly. I nod and start to drift off, happier than I have been since the dream.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Cas’s POV

I’ve been acting more human lately but I didn’t realize what that meant until it was too late. I was falling. Ever since I realized I am in love with Dean, I’d been falling. And having sex with him was the last straw. As I slept, the last of my grace faded away and I woke up sore, hot, and with a headache.

I groan as my eyes open, the light intensifying my throbbing headache. The blanket that Dean and I are sharing is pushed down to my knees and my legs are tangled with his, sweat soaking my entire body. Parts of my body are sore that I’d never know could be sore, mostly because I used to be an angel so I have never been sore before.

I groan again and pull away from Dean a bit. I roll onto my back, a bad idea since I end up tumbling to the ground. I cry out in surprise as I hit the ground, grabbing my head. With the lack of Dean and blankets mixed with the rapidly cooling sweat all over my body, my temperature is dropping.

Apparently my shout woke Dean because a second later he is next to me on the floor, helping me stand up. I keep holding my head as Dean helps me stand, his hands cool against my heated skin. I groan softly again as I make it to my feet and Dean looks at me worriedly.

“Cas? Hey, Cas, you okay? What’s wrong?” he asks, helping me sit on the bed. It doesn’t dawn on me why I feel like crap, I think the term is, immediately. I doesn’t dawn on me until Dean is pressing an ice cold hand against my forehead and frowning.

“Cas, I think you have a fever,” he says, looking confused and worried. I must have a look of confusion on my face also because he cups my face and gently rubs my cheek with a cold thumb.

 

“It’s okay, it’s just a fever. I’ve had tons of ‘em,” he says in a soothing voice but I’m already starting to realize what’s happening and panic is starting to well up in me. It must be clear on my face because Dean looks worried again.

“Cas, please say something,” Dean says, searching my eyes.

“I’m human,” I whisper, horror clear in my voice. Dean hears me and his eyes widen.

“Cas, it’s okay. Calm down,” he says, his thumb frozen on my cheek. He seems to think I’ll freak out, but I’m not as worried as I thought I would be. It might be because I have experienced human life, or that I know I’ll have Dean to help me through it, but it’s more shocking then anything else. I’m also surprised to find that I’m kind of excited to be human again.

“But I am calm,” I say, looking back at him. Looking at his worried expression makes me smile, I’m not sure why, but it makes me happy to see he cares about me. His look of worry only increases.

“Okay. That’s good. You’re sick, let’s just get you better before you worry about being human,” he says softly, still looking worried. I nod, still smiling. He frowns a minute before standing up.

“Lie down. I’ll get you a light blanket. You cold?” he asks and I nod, the chills returning once he mentions them. He nods as well and I lie down as he looks for a blanket that’ll keep me warm but not make me overheat.

Dean walks over to me, a light blanket in his hands. He drapes it over me, tucking me in snuggly. I smile at him, wanting to kiss him but knowing I shouldn’t because I’m sick. It must show on my face because Dean leans down and kisses me softly but firmly. I pulls back, smiling.

“You shouldn’t kiss me, you’ll get sick,” I say and a small smile crosses his face.

“Some people are worth getting sick for. Besides, with what we did last night, I’d be surprised if I don’t get sick,” he says with a suggestive smirk. I blush and quickly bring my hands up to his neck, pulling him down and kissing him again. The kiss makes me light headed. I mean, all of the kisses I’ve shared with Dean have left me dizzy and wanting more but that’s in a good way. This one is in more of a painful way, but I don’t regret it in the slightest. I pull back grinning, seeing him smiling down at me too.

We stay like that a moment, smiling at each other, him leaning close to me, my hands still on his neck. Suddenly a high pitched whistle pierces my ears and I groan, pulling my hands away to cover my ears. My head starts throbbing worse and I hear Dean cursing as he runs to the small kitchen area, grabbing a hot kettle off the stove.

He curses again and turns on the sink, sticking his hand under the water. I can only assume it was because the kettle burned him and I suddenly have a wave of regret wash through me. If I were still an angel, I could heal him. Take away his pain. But I can’t, I’m helpless, lying in bed sick while he tries to heal me.

I lie there, my brain filled with guilty thoughts, so I don’t realize Dean is standing next to me until he touches my shoulder.

“Cas?” he asks, voice filled with worry in a way that shows that he’s been saying it for a while.

“Sorry,” I mumble. Before I know what I’m doing, I’m grabbing his hand and pulling it in front of my face, looking for signs of permanent damage. He jerks in surprise but doesn’t pull away.

“Jesus, Cas, you almost made me spill your tea!” he says as I examine his hand. I don’t find anything other than a faintly red mark that appears to be fading.

“My tea?” I ask, looking up to him. He has a mug in his hand. Steam is coming from the top but the way he’s holding the walls of the cup instead of just the handle show that it’s warm but not scalding. So when Dean hands it to me, I take a huge gulp. That is the worst mistake I have ever made.

My entire throat, mouth, and tongue immediately start to… I can’t even describe. I’ve never felt anything like it, the burning that spreads across my tongue and down my throat. I pull the tea away, barely managing not to spill any as I let out a cry of surprise and pain.

Dean grabs the tea for me, pulling it out of my hands and setting it down. He goes to the sink and gets me a glass of ice cold water, bringing it over to me. “You have to wait for it to cool! Drink this, it’ll help,” he says and I nod, tears in my eyes as my mouth continues hurting. I grab the glass and start to drink it, the coolness stinging a bit but helping.

“You’re supposed to let it cool and sip on it,” Dean says, sitting on the bed next to me. He puts a hand on my forehead, frowning a bit. I finish the water and pick up the tea again, the warmth feeling good in my hands.

“Can I drink it now?” I ask, looking at him through my lashes. He takes it from me and takes a small sip before nodding.

“Drink it like that though, okay?” he says and I nod, taking it back and sipping experimentally. It doesn’t burn and my tongue seems a bit numb but it warms me up and tastes good. I smile slightly, looking at Dean again.

“Thank you, Dean. This is very good,” I say and he smiles slightly.

“It’s just tea. Drink up and I’ll make you soup,” he says, brushing the sweaty hair from my forehead again. I smile, his hands are cold and a little uncomfortable but any contact with Dean is good contact.

“You don’t have to,” I say as he gets up. He shakes his head.

“Do you wanna watch TV?” he asks as he starts to make soup. I sip at my tea, smiling.

“Will you watch it with me?” I ask.

“Of course,” Dean says, smiling. I keep sipping at the tea until it’s gone and set the cup on the nightstand, closing my eyes as I wait for Dean. After a while he hands me a bowl, sitting next to me and turning on the TV. I move a bit closer as I start to slowly eat the soup, being careful incase its hot.

“Is Doctor Sexy M.D. okay?” Dean asks and I nod. Back when I was an angel, I’d peered into Dean’s dreams a few times, mostly when I was bored and needed to make sure he was safe, and there had been a few… interesting dreams involving Doctor Sexy.

 

Dean smiles and wraps an arm around me, pulling me close. I smile as well, happily eating soup and watching the TV.

 

 


	17. Epilogue

There is a theory that there is a parallel universe for every conceivable idea. So there is a universe where Djinn don't exist, where Dean and Cas are still teenage boys. There is a universe where they don't have to worry about if they will survive the latest hunt, just worry if they will survive finals week.   
Maybe the theory is wrong. Maybe it's crazy to think that somewhere out there, there is a teenage version of himself wrapped in the arms of a teenage version of Dean, looking up at the stars from the hood of the Impala. But he likes to think about it sometimes. Now that he dreams, his dreams are a mix of current Dean and past Dean, the Dean from a different world who was carefree and had a whole, happy life in front of him.   
He misses that Dean sometimes. He misses the milkshakes and the smiles that Dean would freely give him. In their world, the world where Dean is a hunter and Castiel is a former angel, the smiles are still there but the corners of his mouth are usually pulled down by the weight of everything he has been through.   
Castiel has taken up writing. It's for himself, not for anyone else. He can't shake the part of himself that remembers a different world, can't shake the memories of being seventeen and having Anna, human Anna, hug him when he cried. Or being seven and having his father give him his favorite tan trenchcoat. He knows he never lived that life, was never a boy playing on the grass. But he feels as if he sometimes catches glimpses of that world, the universe where he is that boy.   
So he writes. He has a journal that only he has the key to and he writes everything down. He writes his dreams, his memories. He writes to hold onto the seventeen-year-old version of himself and the seventeen-year-old version of the man he loves.   
He writes about the most random things. He will go from writing a poem about the way Dean's eyes shine to writing about a dream he had that Dean was ninety and passing peacefully in his sleep with Castiel crying at his side.   
He writes about a wedding. Not their wedding, just a wedding. He isn't sure whose wedding it is, doesn't know if it was Dean's friend or his. But they are young, no more than eighteen. And he writes about them dancing, about the way Dean's hand felt in his and the sound of Dean's laugh.   
He writes about the version of himself who is in love with the version of Dean who dances at weddings and falls asleep on the hood of his car.   
He has a mental image of them dancing. He sees Dean and himself in the fading light, laughing.   
He sees himself catching the bouquet completely on accident and everyone cheering as Dean kissed him, flowers still in his hands.   
He hears Dean's voice, hears him whisper that one day they will be the ones getting married and that there's no way in hell he's gonna be the one throwing the bouquet.   
And most nights he's startled from his writing by Dean's voice. Deeper than he remembers, older, foggy with sleep. And he puts down the pen, returns to bed. He lies down, head on Dean's shoulder, listening to his breathing. He waits until he knows Dean is asleep before kissing his cheek and closing his own eyes. His own voice is low, lower than he sometimes expects it to be.   
"I'm glad that I'm here with you. I'm glad that this is the life I have. I wouldn't change it for anything."  
He falls asleep.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the long overdue epilogue. I'm sorry if it makes no sense, I had an idea for it, and it didn't really translate well into words. I'd live feedback. Thanks guys for reading this and sticking with me through all of it. I hope you enjoyed it. This is the very end, and I hope you guys are happy with it.   
> Thanks to all of you,  
> Sunny


End file.
